1.) Give yourself a year to be her friend, a year to take her great places during the daytime mostly and in that time, don't make a move to nail her. Be about everything else. Strolling gallery lane, antiquing on weekends at street fairs, beach cafe conversation, board games, weekend country picnic daytrips, to isolated trout streams in the mountains, bring two fishing poles, flies, or if ocean, bait. Hit the really well reviewed movies. Go to CHINA TOWN, HINDU TOWN for fun Asian or Indian meals, then cooking classes. Always hit the posh cafes, the wine tastings, culture, music, concerts, but no nailing your gorgeous companion. Resist. Let it be "PINK TANTRA." Affection. Her 'big brother receptors' get awakened..
2.) Woo, seduce, charm, enchant, date, take out, mainly lunch dates at first. Dinner dates later, but never make a move towards closing in. You do not get to sniff, nibble at ... or try to feast on her body. FEAST on her mind for this first period. You are going to get HER addicted to YOU as a kind friend, as a staple of her life as someone who accepts her as she is and mirrors her accurately without the sometimes devious and sometimes snide --- passions of attachment. She will soon be counting on you for sharing thoughts, for guidance, for fun, for movies, for exotic meals out, for learning about new wines, foods. For new vacation spots, for week-end getaways. WITHOUT that fear that she is a DEER in a guy's rifle sights. TRUST is essential. If she asks why you don't make a move, say simply 'You think a man leaps on any woman? A wise man is seeking perfection. He doesn't just ... get involved." Maybe she's insecure and that puts her on the defensive. Isn't she perfect? Doesn't she rate? You tell her, she's so great and interesting that it's beyond sex.
3.) You can, after six months, start to very occasionally do kinky peripheral stuff to thrill her, to make her associate you with certain melting HOT FEELINGS. Ear kisses, neck kisses work best. But what's peculiar about girls is this. A woman can learn to love a man for whom she has NO HOTS AT ALL, NO ‘immediate fall in love response' and learn to like him an awful lot --- if he a.) is smart enough to find her intelligent, b.) is a true friend, and c.) seems like he might be reliable for those melty HOT FEELINGS. And in this regard, may I suggest that after six chaste months, do the most PG erotic things that woman love. A tongue in the ear is not too 'move-fast' which a hand on the breast could be. But after six months, that might work too. But do these two and only occasionally, do NOT BE PREDICTABLE. Do not give the impression you're after the big prize. There should be many times when she thinks you're going to start doing that, and you do NOT, you just hug her, kiss her cheek as if she were your sister and send her into the house. She shouldn't start to think that you're hooked on that one way sex stuff, cuz that's WEIRD. So don't do it every time and don't do it for more than twenty seconds, the way some people hug during the middle of an evening. The good thing about doing this in the middle of eve like before you go into the cafe, is that YOU DO NOT do it at the END of the evening as THEN, it might seem like a pathetic request for a segue to sex. Like 'I'm giving you a sample of what I can do to get you hot, may I come in your apartment now?' So only do it when you're far from that moment of parting. Like in the car before you go into the restaurant.
Be certain while doing the mini-kink hot session to always have the RESTRAINT to stop when she's boiling and not push for overkill. This means you may have to count baseball scores while you kiss her ears, and in your mind actually be counting to ten. Put wax in your ears like ULYSSES did to stay clear of CIRCE, --- in this case to not hear any moaning, because if you turn into JABBA THE HUT and jump the gal before she's l00% started to associate you with culture, affection, love and other good feelings........woe is you. All this fishing is for naught. She will do a turnaround like a MARLIN with a hook in it, and break your line.
4.) If you've got the bucks, take her to fabulous resorts, ATLANTIS in the Bahamas or Las Hades en Mazatlan area of Mexico or San Miguel De Allende in the Mts of Mexico. But here's the THING: Separate rooms. Bring travel alarms so you wake at the same time. Cuz you're not going to wake together. Then, do sentimental things, like ‘our same breakfast spot in the patio,' that same little gift by her breakfast plate. A new gift each day but the same little gift wrap. Folklorico Chatzkes from the local marketplace, not ALWAYS the silver and abalone from the hotel jewelry shop. Although if you have the money, that Mex stuff is FABULOUS. It's the thought that counts. In folk art, if it's great arte primitivo, which shows taste --- possibly beyond that of even a very wealthy man.
Now, if you want to spend serious cash, find a serious jewelry store (not in the hotel) with reasonable prices and always let HER PICK the thing she wants, cuz no way your taste is hers. BTW, MEN who are afraid of shopping with a women are the worst kind of cowards. Women are exhilarated by strolls through the marketplace, department stores, boutiques. Learn infinite patience and be a total go-along. If she's the type to throw a scene, make demands, she's obviously someone you don't want to marry so stick your neck out. Take a risk. See if she passes the shopping test. Which is, if she picks a ruby ring with several diamonds and it's twenty grand, simply say very quietly, 'twenty grand is a lot of meals for starving children in Guatemala.' and just shake your head 'no' very sweetly with a wince of a smile. And kiss her goodbye as she's not ethical. If she starts to bitch, take the photo out of your wallet, the one of your adopted orphan kid in Guatemala that the CHILDREN' CHARITY sends for your 15$ a month. That girl will never pull the greedy hooker stunt on another man, ever!
5.) If other bucks at this resort see that you're not necking on the beach and dining room and they attempt to move on her, this is another great test for HER and you. For her in the sense, that you get to see how loyal she is. But it is also a test of YOU, in the sense that it tests your temper and class. She has to see you're not a possessive O.J. buffoon. That you leave everything in her hands. That you have a very wide comfort zone. So Do NOT flare up. Let's see what SHE DOES. Marrying the right person thing works both ways. If she doesn't say ‘excuse me, I'm with the man sitting there?' then, you would not want THAT BABE to be the mother of your kids. She'd invariably run off with them (I mean the kids, l00 times worse than running off with some disco stud!) and she'd also charge you divorce lawyers, alimony and kid support that would not only ruin you, it would make you bitter and poor, so never take an enemy into the camp of the heart.
MANY MEN with good eyesight have committed that error. Remember poor Prime Minister (of Canada) Trudeau whose wife did Mick Jagger and everybody up in Canada? During the psychedelic seventies or sixties, I think it was. Really caused him embarassment. Google MARGARET TRUDEAU!, eh?
Well, YOUR EYESIGHT has to be superior to a prime minister's! So GIVE your new flame TIME and enough rope to hang herself a thousand times over. If she has manners, loyalty, a sense of decency, and does not hand out her phone number, she's worth diamond's weight, not gold.
6.) Give it time. SHE has to be the the one to say ‘let's do it,' A year from now when YOU FINALLY SUCCUMB to her needs, and only because she is head over heels attached to you, (what passes for ‘in love with you' and she says ‘yes' to marriage, or whatever else you design, you will be glad you kept this little piece of paper in your possession. Or in you mind. Or folded in your Bible.
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