A HISTORY OF DIZZY DECISIONS - NOT ONE SINGLE GOOD DECISION
OR FOOD FRIEND or EXECUTABLE PLAN in the last TEN THOUSAND
You have proven a certain, specific, actual theorem of science, that MAGICAL FAITH PRAYER MANTRA,GURUS AND BELIEF FASTING AND YOGIC CONTORTIONS ---(NO MATTER HOW MASSIVE or STRONG) WILL NOT make a DENT on the reality that Fate handed you today or gives you tomorrow.
HOPING, DREAMING, TRUSTING does not make LIFE or other people bend to a woman's will. Even effort and hard work IMPLEMENTING each and every new brain impulse doesn't work. NOR DOES enslaving people to be unpaid team members, seducing them into being on your POSSE. You just become a juggler JUGGLING RAZOR BLADES that cut your REALITY into shreds. And makes a lot of people go EEEWWW when they think of you.
When one trusts in WINGS that no human has, YOU IMAGINE or BELIEVE that YOU can leap out of a building. Problem is, your little science experiment proves that there is some law of gravity as every single time, you connect with the sidewalk in a fatal manner. SCIENCE vs BELIEF --right? And no matter how strong it is, BELIEF is NOT THE CAUSE OF SUCCESS for heavy FLYING OBJECTS. Wind speed along with wing curvature IS the secret of flying. PRECISE mathmatical REALISTIC forces ---ones your arms can't partake of... not belief. The real world is SCIENCE, reality, PHYSICAL LAWS, STATISTICAL CHANCES. To get weight of plane to agree with wind speed gives a statistic --- GET THE NUMBERS WRONG an dit's ALL FALL DOWN cuz the math isn't right.
IN spite of your intuition about the last 3 dozen guys, BELIEF in their affection for you got in your way of seeing the reality of each of them. The sly hustle of the blonde apartment tenant AMORAI convinced you she'd be amusing. Pretty kittens made you believe your heart would beam forever even when they were pain in the ass, messy, noisy, costly adults.
Your believed MORE AND YOUNGER kitties were necessary to your lifestyle, even if you left them alone for months every year, ignoring a "world of hurt" reality" and bad karma. They looked good when they were little so you believed Olympian GODS lived in those cats. WITH MAGIC TO GIVE YOU.
Just as reading ADVICE on STOCK TWITTER fed YOUR BELIEF that you could make huge money investing in stocks, Looked good. You believed in it. We've all seen gamblers who ALL think 'I'll just make those lost thousands of bucks come back when I play some more.' They play and LOSE some more.
You believe that certain FOODS like a known, toxic ALKALOID CHOCOLATE mixed with all sorts of FATTY COCONUT OVERDOSES were part of a really rejuvenating diet. BELIEF didn't make it so. It just gave cellulite. Your belief that an ice cream business at SOLSTICE would make you rich and famous. BELIEF AND EVEN HUGE WORK didn't make it TRUE, not on any level. Way too much work for no profit. And the ice cream rotted.
YOUR belief in your destiny in Hollywood, Broadway, the rocknroll industry ---- didn't turn out. Not one single break of any kind, just guys who'd meet you take your money or try to take you & use you as they only see ambitious starlet wannabe not the pure celestial woman they'd want as wife.
MEN HATE that show biz GERM in women. They see no purity in it, only vanity. They have all had dozens of flirty, ambitious rock wannabes and long ago lost respect. In case you wonder why they OVER CHARGE YOU, USE YOU, mistreat you. As MEN, all of them, only respect unambitious simple women who are pure and cook well and truly love them, girls who truly fall in love... which they can feel is genuine when it happens. You were using them so you were fighting a GENETIC LAW that exists in men's brains. CAREER GIRLS (USER GIRLS) should be exploited right back. That is a law of trade & a genetic DNA-LAW of reality.
YOUR TRUSTING IN THEIR FRIENDSHIP FOR YOU OR DESIRE FOR YOU....was a mistaken belief
Your BELIEFS PLURAL... even with looks, talent and huge work ONLY have RESULTED in a lot of chance encounters with a bad breed of men who took advantage, didn't make your acting or music or dancing dreams come true. JUST GAVE YOU ENDLESS headaches, a guilty feeling of pandering to GUYS which has led to this last guy throwing you cash you desperately need while he mistreats you.
EVEN THOUGH you worked hard on all of these THINGS which YOU BELIEVED were YOUR FATE , NOTHING WORKED. BELIEF combined with work and sacrifice and all these guys with sound equipment didn't help. COULD IT BE? NO MAN HELPS A WOMAN TO HAVE A CAREER. CELINE was TEN when Andre helped her and he truly believed. But then he didn't have ulterior motives cuz she was ten.
BUT FOR you, charming so many music guys & spending so much money on videos and soundstages was a risky enterprise in terms of actual statistical PROBABILITY. For a man friend and for a career.
ADD IN A FEW of YOUR OWN peculiarities that went against you. A TENDENCY toward FEAR of BEING NOTHING. You did a great video and yet you showed it to no one. You had no faith and belief in yourself, really. That'll kill a career faster than anything. At least FLORENCE (who MERYL STREEP Plays this week,) got into Carnegie Hall. Booked herself in. You have no self belief and yet you pick show biz?
Weirder, weirder is that you defend the concept of faith and magical BELIEF and blame failure you're going thru now......on dark mystical forces that are somehow AFTER you. which is ANOTHER crazy belief, to the mind of ANYBODY whose feet are on the ground. Anyone who has been studying YOUR patchy REALITY of juggling as every impulse is one you believe in. Every man, every career from acrylic blankets to buying a house in the ghetto to renting an apartment on skid row to making chocolates.
What this boils down to is that YOU STILL BELIEVE in a lot of very ODDBALL THOUGHTS and in fact, seem to want to defend to the death this pattern, THE HUNCH THING, this endless believing. You defend the concept that YOU HAVE INTUITED GOD'S WILL. So when you see yourself splatted against a wall, YOU NOW BELIEVE that ONLY A DEVIL could have slammed you. NOT THAT TEN WAYS FROM TUESDAY you did this to yourself with FIXED erroneous BELIEFS!
You refuse to ascribe all this to the fact that you continually believe any weird mystical thing you want to believe. Like that statistically improbable, outrageous GOOD things are going to happen with this FBI WALL of terrible men, or with PENNY STOCKS. Or Amorai the tenant or now with this whole new bunch of bachelors including a guy with lawsuits about raising millions from honest investors.
YOU ENTER THE TUNNEL of DARKNESS, SLAM against WALLS and ascribe YOUR failures to A DEVILISH FORCE... outside of yourself. WHAT KIND OF CRAZY BELIEF IS THAT ONE? Piled on top of the others? SAME OLE SAME OLE.
What you do NOT see as being a source of trouble is that you believed in outrageous things and outrageous people, ignored real signs of dark character in them. You ASSUMED, HOPED, DREAMED, PRAYED the movie had a happy ending.
IN YOUR WORK, you SACRIFICED, YOU DID HUGE WORK. you spent huge money, you gave your very soul to ALL OF THESE PROJECTS, and JUGGLING a few too many and quite a few brigand men, and negatively judging your first video, you did the UNPREDICTABLE THING: You dug a hole deeper and deeper and needing more money and took more risks to get money until you found yourself in a limited condition.BROKE condition.
Isn't it possible THE UNIVERSE is trying to show you the very source of your problems? Fantasy beliefs? Doesn't this RESULT kind of tap your hand like a friend and say GAIA, this tells us that YOUR INTUITION is not always correct? And if you give up INTUITION AND MAGIC BELIEF you can get back into shape? BY PUTTING THE OLE NOSE to the grindstone on the REALITY PATH?
It is like a science project, we set out to prove if HUMAN WILL can affect DESTINY. IF THERE IS MAGIC! If the voices are REAL! And the experiment flunks. The problems you're having are the natural results of a loony premise. A zany science experiment. YOU HAVE set out to prove magic works, and when it doesn't, ascribed failure to 'dark forces' that have elected to persecute you! So you're still in the zone of fantasy.
YOU are still caught up in loony beliefs in magic. You ignore the experiment's results and go on testing an impossible premise?
YOU have proven one thing: that belief in "extra-material" forces do not affect anything. THERE ARE NO EXTRA MATERIAL FORCES unless it's KARMA which is invisible. BAD KARMA, right? OR GOOD KARMA. THAT we cannot know. Karma would of course come from GOD and we do not know about that one.
But you are not GOD ... obviously cuz YOUR personal hunches beliefs and Intuition got you in a fix so many times. And God is not in communication with you either, obviously.
YOUR BRAIN PICTURES are less potent than GOD's plan for you. REALITY IS GOD, and IF THAT IS THE LAW OF THE UNIVERSE, do you want to believe that GOD PLANNED for you to live on skid row, broke, teaching yoga to the homeless? NO! GOD doesn't think that way. He planned big things but you got in the way with your impulse-thinking. WHAT WAS REAL was GOD's original plan. What is fake is YOUR PLAN made up of beliefs: giveaway all my clothes, dump my real estate, keep changing addresses, buy cats, date these loser guys, pay to create a video I hide in a drawer, make chocolate, sell blankets with an amazonian indian...buy a house in the ghetto, rent an apt on skid row and be a hotel room owner..date a fire dancer. Date a convicted embezzler.
THE GOOD THING that happened is, right now YOU ARE A GOOD PLACE to TEST OUT THEORIES cuz nobody on the planet combines intuition, hopes, dreams, belief more than you do. Except several million people who are locked up in madhouses as they relied SOLELY on hunches. Beliefs. Impulses.
THEY WALKED THE WALK toward their fantasies full time, certain that THEIR inner reality was the TRUE SCOOP REALITY. SOCIETY pronounced them nuts and threw away the key. They were just dreamers, hearing voices, believing in God's plan for their fame and wealth.
"Yeah," you say, "but Amy Winehouse had a fantasy, aimed and she made it. The Beatles did, Mick Jagger did, DYLAN did/ PRINCE did, JANIS JOPLIN DID. AIMED AND BELIEVED AND MADE IT. AMY may have dreamed but she wrote news-articles on great music and was a journalist. GAGA learned to play flawless Chopin. Beatles did l0,000 hours in Hamburg. Janis came to Haight Ashbury and backed up good rock groups.
THEY GOT OUT IN FRONT of their dreams. FAME is WORK THAT IS SEEN BY OTHERS combined with statistical probability. They were very very brilliant at what they did, flawless in fact, and found teams of people who believed in their work and these helpers didn't exploit them for 500$ a swack, but became true supporters WHO GOT ON THEIR TALENT TRAIN and worked with them. And they stayed public. NO FEAR OF THE PUBLIC.
THE LAW stays the same; THE STATISTIC REMAINS THE SAME. CUZ IT IS PHYSICAL REALITY. Out of a MILLION musicians WHO TRIED TO MAKE it, NONE MAKE IT --only this handful of ten made it. TEN OUT OF ONE MILLION is the statistic. They got out in front. Your hunch is that you will be one of the lucky ten without getting out in front. THE GODS have assured you. THE VOICES TOLD YOU. Yet it doesn't work for you.
NOW WHAT DID WORK FOR YOU? YOUR VIDEO WORKED but you HID IT! Teaching YOGA worked. What you were doing picking up people (unfortunately only MEN as you give off a HATE vibe to women,) met at healthfood stores, teaching out of your home, giving privates at their homes, teaching at gyms; that worked. HOTEL ROOMS would have worked but your IMPULSE BUYING "VOICES in your HEAD" hastily picked skid row.
You are back at square one so be careful of VOICES. You want to do things DIFFERENTLY as you start over: HOW? By not juggling. You thought you were Balancing music with yoga. Didn't work. Thought you could balance CHOCOLATE 3 meals a day with yoga. Balance Stocks with yoga,a sugar daddy with a spiritual life, OR....auto-fund a new video when you have no money and live in a world of worrisome debt and buying houses and larcenous tenants and mixing that with stocks, chocolate and problematic cats and MORE problematic MEN? And no birth control? What combination of your multiple brain impulses can work for you?
GO BACK to what really works. ONLY do what really works. Only sign up for what you can afford. You created a good situation and then in one year or two, you dragged it down to little innocent cats abandoned in a hot apartment on skid row. A costly maid feeding them occasionally. BAD BAD KARMA. And no private yoga clientele at all. FLUNKING JOBS & clients only to do VIDEOS which you refuse to show around. Because of beliefs. ERRONEOUS BELIEFS. Or because it wasn't really your music? Someone else owned the rights?
Start over. Avoid gambling. It's just a bigger hole. Chocolate is going nowhere. The last twenty guys are going nowhere. The twenty you PICKED were like the final coffin nails BOXING UP a girl with your beliefs in purity. You paint yourself in a corner if you depend on his 200$ contribution to your shame account. However, taking it in all humility and pretending it is a gift from GOD, thank you very much, Sir, is all you can do at this point.
MY ADVICE WAS ALWAYS: Look like a ritzy society girl, not a bikini babe, go to healthfood store and pick up 50-70 yr old WOMEN as clients.
TEACH YOGA. 10$ a class. Nothing costly but THEN, DO PSYCH TECH like EMOTIONAL RELEASE WORK for 100$ the HR.
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