1,000 REASONS WHY A BEAUTY SHOULD NOT MOVE TO HOLLYWOOD!

                                       

                                          Because  I'm pure, naive, sweet, energetic. Why
                                          would I want to be used, abused, embittered?

Just got an email A LETTER from a girl who sez she's moving to HOLLYWOOD. Dear Anita, I'm coming to town. It'll be so great to MEET YOU! I love your writing. I am half way thru the seventy chapters. And guess what! I may move to L.A.! signed, Jeni.

DEAR JENI! Whatever you do, don't move to Los Angeles. Beauty is wasted in Hollywood. Nobody appreciates good looking girls. There are too many of them here! My theory on that is that for  l00 years ALL the beauties of this planet have been coming here, their grandaughters bred with the locals and now there is some kind of California super BABE here --- pneumatic, blown up gals with perfect skin, 20" waists, little upturned noses, mops of curly shiny hair, legs that go to their throat. EEEK! What's an ordinary gorgeous woman to do with them around?

And these girls were born knowing how to flirt. They are third generation MAN PLEASERS! Superhuman Amazon wonder women.  NONE Of them appears to want to marry -- ergo they move thru society like a tidal wave of devil mollusks eating everything MANLY in their path, crunching it like so much cookie debris between their grinding, rolling teeth. ALL they want is careers. Do you know that axiom, "who do I have to #(*%& to get off this movie?" (It always gets a big laff on a movie set in L.A.) These girls are working that axiom backwards, which hasn't been done since the forties! Who do I *(#&(* to GET A VIDEO/ MOVIE ROLE, WALK ON?

So you come here, you're up against them and they are the dominant species, super predominant, available, the reigning critter in this town. So FERGETABOUT L.A. or HELL-A as I call it! You'd have to better their offerings. Might as well go PRO . 

EVEN ASTROLOGERS like me have a hard time with these babes as they are ALL TITS AND TEETH and need nothing to rummage and plunder, not advice, not morale lifts, not even tit lifts. THEY ARE PERFECT. They are getting younger and younger too, as (did I say?) they're breeding like Natasha Henstridge --the reptoid in "SPECIES!"

I suspect that if you lift a rock on VENICE BEACH you'll find a few of these nyads hibernating waiting for PUBERTY to hit so they can emerge and rumble toward the local studios, indies and casting calls plowing thru  to the desk in a cloud of JOY perfume saying  may I go straight in to see the producer? (bat bat eyelash) And in they go. THE REST OF US ARE LOST! Only in the backwash among the taco shops can a girl get any respect. Guys in low-riders with hair nets will whistle and you'll know you beat out the local frizzy latina pop-tartletts (no starlets among Chicanas; Salma Hayak and that tidal wave of South Americans did not start a trend) and with your pocho boyfriend you can have a great Saturday nite date.

So go anywhere but HELL-A. ---it's really the worst place to look for a man. GREAT beauties are mudwrestling here. ALL have had their hearts broken by film industry execs who treat them sort of well while they date, have an affair, then they find a new beauty, the old one is treated like dirt. And pretty girls work in studios by the dozen and earn MINIMUM WAGE for the privilege!

L.A. is a heartbreaker. EVEN FILM stars are so insecure they go nuts on downers. I have worked for an OSCAR NOMINEE or 7 yrs. Even reigning film stars are used and abused, again by film industry guys. The nominee's boyfriend /manager stood too close to her wallet for seven years. He started boffing her secretary, then both of them got in too close to the star's femme accountant. Some kind of weird freeway-three-way cuz now forty million dollars are missing and he appears to have real estate  in remote countries, in tropical islands and the FBI is trying to track an intricate net of thieving and sucking that the blithe and very loving nominee let happen.

THERE ARE VERY FEW BILLIONAIRES in L.A. WHYIZZAT you suppose? Cuz the super rich consider the whole place corrupt and tacky. Want to marry a man who can give you a life? Try FRISCO, HOUSTON, NYC, DENVER are the best bet. London, Paris, Geneva, Zurich. GERMANY is full of them. A milkman in Berlin makes more than an Actor in Hollywood. Speaknig of which, actors and male models? NARCISSISTS. Gay as taffata.

So, travel, meet people, educate yourself, speak foreign languages, but get the #*&! out of show biz. You are  super intelligent, right? So you have to be wonderring, what is my game? Where do I start to SQUEEZE you little does of your BUCKS? WHY DO I DO THE WORK teaching show biz wannabe's to MARRY WELL while they can? During those few years of spectacular beauty?

Because I was a beauty a top actress and STUPID related to career and absolutely uncontrollable in love with unworthy men, time and time again. I learned this from LOVING them: ARTISTS  were all bisexual. GUITARISTS were all indigent, used to women throwing themselves at them. SPANIARDS who would never pay child support or alimony  I married. I got beat up, had to yank my kids out of Mexico, drive back to USA and live in fear of hubby-kidnapping.  Then the cherry on the cake a rich, married screenwriter with two oscars who'd had fifty yrs in hollywood to learn its weird ways, who toyed with me over thirty years, politely, so politely I couldn't see that hundreds of women were with him on other days and nights. Oh yes. I substantiate the aphorism 'she who can't, teaches.'

I raised four kids doing astrology here in Hollywood, 15$ an hr, maybe got four clients a month. Now it's 25$ an hour, and I have no pension as I never had a job. Besides four kids to watch with a hawk eye,  I had two vices that finally caused me to move to the slums of the San Fernando valley.( NO astro CLIENTS in the valley.)

The vices: my dear kittie cats who need huge, fenced gardens. And I like gardening, I need huge gardens. IN the valley, 8000 square feet of house, fenced yards, rent is 3,000$ a month, but clients? The valley is a barrio. LOTS of dear people who are learning ENGLISH --but astrologer is not a word they've learned. One barely ekes out a living. Luckily, I can daily go to the dumpster outside the market, yesterday 3 bell peppers, 3 hot peppers, l eggplant, last week, 6 dozen eggs, fed my 7 cats with those (I feed ferals also.)  I grow fruit and vegies. (THIS JUST IN. They locked all the dumpsters) Such poverty and sorrows and un felicitous circumstances have engendered the most amazing situation. FOR THE FIRST TIME in my life, I have become interested in what happens to women during the latter part of their lives.  I was smart, look what happened to me. What will happen to the parade of sweet dummies headed for L.A?.

I was a top TV and film star, It would say GUEST STARRING ANITA SANDS if I was on any t.v. hour drama. William Morris Agcy was my agent, biggest agent in show biz. I starred in my first film, Diary of a High School Bride, did Bonanza, Mike Landon knocked me out. Did Maverick, playing a witch oddly enough.  Did 2 Dobie Gillis opposite Warren Beatty who asked me out. (I didn't go.) All the tv shows, fantasy and fun was interesting but I did not know reality and didn't have enough quarters of work to get Social Security. Foreign husband, so no Social Security PENSION FROM HUBBY. (I spent 7 yrs in Mexico married, barefoot and pregnant.) Today, I have no car to go to doctor/ so medical coverage does nothing.. And I was IQ 180. Took me straight A's to get into UCLA theater arts. Freshman yr, UCLA tested 9000 freshman for a week, daily, all day, Picked 30 of us, told us we tested out as geniuses, gave us stack passes, vocational counseling, said we should be in science. DUMMIE here quit school to act. DID GREAT but still, SELF IMMOLATED.

C'mon ! Get what I'm saying. YOU CAN become a billionaire's wife. IF YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL take the training!  It's free. No registering. l,000 free lessons so you can rein in that dumb part of yourself, that impetuous, hot, unfocused emotionally 'driven' part that makes you pick losers. Even one chapter from LUCK IN LOVE site will help you marry well.

 I had these really dumb INTENSE LOVE HABITS involving chimeras, mirages and they SUNK ME. Especially the adoration I carried 24/7 for the entire 30 yrs I was sweetheart to the married screenwriter. There's a special room in Hell for writers Yogi Bhajan once said. I took that to mean that they all lie. Writers are ruthless on the spiritual level. They mold the minds of the young through their films or books which are filled with violence and smut. They lack hearts. PROOF: This fellow never brought an apple to my house in thirty years NOT A GRAIN OF FOOD unless inadvertently thru one of the fawncy doggie bags Mummy brought home and stuffed in the fridge for the kiddies before I took him in my bedroom. I WAS HOOKED on this guy and never complained. Did you hear the one about the Polish starlet? She was so dumb she was #$%(#@ the WRITER! I lived it. I want to do a novel 'the Polish Starlet' only there's no time to write. Having to make the rent solo, even in the san Fernando valley with 15$ horoscopes means NO TIME TO WRITE.

SIGN ME IQ 180 and STUPID and very intensely focused on stopping all the other beauties on this planet from falling into the same snake pit of their own craziness. GET A GRIP!! STUDY YOGA as it reins in the crazed nature. What city are you in? There are KUNDALINI YOGA teachers in every city of the planet on the "teacher's list" that I have on file who can stop your chakras from running away from you like a stallion running for its stable. THE ID, Freud called it, which does a suicide run toward its favorite stimulants. HIGH DRAMA., HIGH ROMANCE,SEXUAL THROES. PASSION. There's a  reason the Greek root of the word passion is SUFFERING! As in the "Passion of the Christ." Yoga will put you ten feet above your body, permanently, spotting THE BODY's DUMB,FEVERISH, FUTILE GO NOWHERE trajectories before it can direct the course of your life. Don't drag your kids, even if not born yet, into and thru this! GET A GRIP! SO ask google up the yoga teacher in your town! And if you're in Hollywood, bone up on the "ATLAS" CONCEPT about picking a new city! sign me Auntie Anita

Hey this LOCAL HOLLYWOOD beauty just wrote me. She can tell you  why the city is so toxic, tragic and awful! Today I got this email (LETTER) from a youngster who saw my craigs list ad! which reads: "BEAUTIES, GET OUT OF SHOW BUSINESS, GET OUT OF L.A. Move to a town where you can marry a good man. Go to LUCK INLOVE.COM" and the url is in the ad, right? So she tells me "Hello Anita, I am a 20 year old female I live in Hollywood.  I am constantly trying to find a nice man to hangout with and it seems impossible here. I am very attractive and its like men only want one thing and never call me back when they don't get it!  I hate it.  Can you help me? Thanks, Nicole"

HHHMMMMMMMMMMMM> YES.......your letter certainly made me remember Another lovely lady here in town, with your exact name who found a rather one-dimensional man who only wanted one thing, too. When she finally took it off the market....as far as HE was concerned, he was one disgruntled customer. Stuck a knife thru her ten times.

OJ was his name.

WE gals certainly HAVE to be careful who we date cuz dating is half way toward CARING. You obviously, NICOLE, care when you find out YOU THOUGHT you had a caring beaux, when really you've got a SHARK on the line! AND IF THAT shark cannot consume you on the spot, he's impatiently swimming down the line for the fishie THAT CAN be consumed!

OUR EGO is FAIRLY SHOCKED when that happens. But let's not react with EGO. TACTICALLY, strategically, some loading of special bait is req'd, so as to NOT attract sharks in the first place.. LIKE a gray suit, tight waist, peplum, pumps, white cuffs and collar, pearls, something so elegant it says "MISTER I AM HIGH MAINTENANCE BLUE BLOOD AND IF YOU PULL A DUMMY STUNT WITH ME I"m REPORTING YOU TO THE BOSTON BLUE BLOOD HIT SQUAD"

Once you get any kind of "UNCERTAIN BREEDING fellows" on DECK, hook him,
land him as a regular beaux, maybe some further TESTING is required. I
haven't thought a lot about TESTING MEN. Mostly cuz I'm heading FOR
EIGHTY! ANd my mind at this point doesnt' wander to where my feet don't go.

AND even WHEN I WAS YOUNG, I didn't think about character tests. I was
way too STUPID to test men. I TOOK them at face value. THEY DROVE UP,
took me for a spin, a meal, a movie. Got Fresh. I was good natured even
when I'd slap them down, and I'd wait for it to start over again either
on the next date with HIM or with someone else. DID NO TESTING.

SO OFTEN I FOUND OUT years later, the friendly FISH with all the smiling
(I THOUGHT) teeth was really a shark. AND I had been chewed out of a
goodly amount of YEARS, chewed til I was useless, discarded in the detritus
of the big dating ocean like yesterdays garbage.

SO IN RETROSPECT I SHOULDA TESTED. DONE quality checks, Stuck a needle
in, done a read out. Maybe you could think of a test. A TEST should be pre planned
 LIKE ok, here's a CHEAPNESS test.  You meet him at a lunch spot, you are in your car.
At some point when you're standing near your car, you look down and spot your tire. THE REALLY RATTY one. And say 'I need your advice. is this tire over with?'  He should say, "DEADLY. Let's go to SEARS tomorrow and replace it."If he says yes it needs replacing. REPLACE HIM!!!

Maybe that's a degree of emotional involvement and caring test.

How about  PURITY TEST? NAHHHHHH. NO man would pass. They'd all flunk.
 But you could try it. HE comes in front door. "WHOOPS you call, from
the bedroom, " you caught me with no clothing on. Stay in the living
room. (Door is ajar) NOW will he stay? LIKE A DOG? I DOUBT it.
Stand there in your jumpsuit with a camera and a flash. As he
peeks around the door, shoot his picture!

Or maybe try an INTELLIGENCE TEST?

"SWEETIE? WHY did BUSH and Cheney think that we needed IRAQ's oil?
Don't we have enough of our own?"

IF HE SAYS "NO. THE PLANET is technically out of oil, sweetheart. OUT!
Not enough for even a few years of CHINA getting all those cars we're
selling them!" THEN he thinks like a REPUBLICAN who will Steal another country's
oil just because it can and in so doing flood EUROPE with refugees who drown babies!

IF HE SAYS "We'll discover an alternative to oil. He's an optimist. If he says Russian satellites, the Stans have oil, he's really smart. Ask him what are the stans? Uzbekistan, Kazakhstan etc.  If he doesn't know, he's as dumb as a ditch carp. Dumb as a bag of hammers. USELESS to you as a mate. He's ORDINARY.

Harder is the test of moral character because even a smart woman can spend thirty years with a man before she finds out he's no gentleman. READ: THE GENTLEMAN TEST:

And hey, don't get bent when a man turns out to have no character. And there's no need to scream over your shoulder, 'you're a stupid, lying bum' as you walk away. Because the stupid one is you for not doing enough TESTING in the early 'hang out' dates that YOU ARE REALLY knowing what he is and what he will do ...(as character is destiny). If you realized who he was and what he wanted and what he was going to do, how can your ego get hurt ?

Any ideas about this? If you have one, write ASTROLOGY at EARTHLINK if you have any. signed, Anita Sands Hernandez.
 

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Our POSTER is ANITA SANDS HERNANDEZ, Los Angeles Writer, ombudsman, Futurist and Astrologer to Yogi Bhajan for 35 years. Catch up with her websites TRUTHS GOV WILL HIDE & NEVER TELL YOU, also The  FUTURE, WHAT'S COMIN' AT YA! FRUGAL LIFE STYLE TIPS,  HOW TO SURVIVE the COMING GREAT DEPRESSION, and Secrets of Nature, HOLISTIC, AFFORDABLE HEALING. Also ARTISANRY FOR EXPORT, EARN EUROS..   Anita is at astrology@earthlink.net ). Get a 15$ natal horoscope "my money/future life" reading now + copy horoscope as a Gif file graphic! No smarter, more accurate career reading out there! PS. Anita sez, 'get a website for 5$ a month and post articles that YOU LIKE, TOO! Be someone who forwards the action, the evolution. IT IS getting better you know and by getting WORSE FIRST, it gets better!

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