addictive. SOme girls just keep switching boysDO WE GET A HORMONAL JOLT out of MASOCHISM?  And do we LOVE IT THAT WAY?  Why do we want a man to date us every damn weekend? Weekends are good for many other things. Shopping, CLOSET straightening, SEARCHING DOWN wildly important, evolutionary articles for FACEBOOK if we're unlucky and a hot date if we're LUCKY. (ANYWAY that's the way popular thought might have it.) OR ARE WE REAL LUCKY IF WE CAN SHARE PROGRESSIVE SITES on FACEBOOK  and BAAAD UN-LUCKY If we're dating a man? Let us use THIS WEEKEND for a deep, emotional inquiry, a meditation on THE POSITION LOVE PUTS  the feminine PSYCHE in.

PONDER the dance of the lovers. THE ARCHETYPAL MALE is brave, important, noble, proud, arrogant, possessive, easily angered, large in size, strong, aggressively courts the woman, won't take no for an answer. He lays down the law. She is cooperative, a good listener, sweet, delicate, small in size, also must be slender, all the YIN components. Women instinctively know that if they are gentle, he'll love her. They are correct. ENOUGH YIN with a VERY YANG, HOT MALE, THAT romance can indeed happen. That path lights the fire where the yin yang dance wants to boil. But a rolling boil in the hay doesn't get that girl married. It creates a bonfire which burns out before woman can pronounce the word 'forever.'

THE MACHO YANG GUY WANTS SEX BIGTIME! HE comes over. She girlishly opens the door and isn't sure, she lets him in and eventually he has his way with her but she fights delicately, unconvincingly, in a dainty way. Or if she's smart, she has a chaperon at home and they must go out to public places where he cannot move on her.

Today, women enter into the spirit of the affair. They call the guy at all hours and say 'come over, let's fool around."

While a man will cooperate, if she wants marriage, a woman can never be the aggressor, it's a turnoff in the yin yang dance. You don't hand a man the Nobel prize without his trying to win over the committee. Let a man use his resume, his wiles, ration, words, force if necessary.

In nature, pigeons don't fall out of the tree into a tiger's mouth. A man hunts, and uses his brain to win the prey. Finally dainty lady's passion and LOVE FOR HIM gets the better of her will to ration and the lady surrenders but remember, the bigger, longer the fight, the bigger the BANG. POW. FIREWORKS!

Give the man the power, let men do it when they please, that woman will start to feel empty and used when he leaves. HE HAS FREEDOM, he picks the assignation hour. She waits by the clock and/or phone for him to show up. That kind of hot situation can go on for a few YEARS until he is so stoked that he attracts a new, fresh, younger, different version.

In the 'all-signed up from the gitgo' girl's affair and relationship, the Tiger does as he pleases and does not attempt to please. She likes it this way. If he were nice to her, she'd think he was a beta male. SHE on the other hand attempts to please!

He comes when he wants, leaves when he wants, will broach no interference in his schedule. SOUND LIKE ANYONE YOU KNOW?

The yin yang roles predominate, especially when the passion is hot. WOMAN has an inbred, Darwinian wimpiness. TO be otherwise in the last billion years, would have jeopardized her survival. If he says jump, she says 'how high.' If he says 'this is my God,' she says 'whither thou goest, I will go.'

BEHAVIORAL CULTURAL HABITS, literature, myth, even TV shows, project to us the path that CULTURE assumes the perfect girl will walk. SHOULD WALK. EVEN the most AMERICAN TV shows portray a pussy whipped man as a critter of ridicule. MUSLIMS don't laugh, however. They consider we Americans are all strident, mini-men and that our men are BOZOS.

ALL of these are cultural projections. ANd you and your mind have been projected upon by them. SO you will walk the ying, maso path. But is it real, authentic, hormonally true, TRUE ON A SOULULAR LEVEL and last, is it useful to you?

WHAT is this DAMN YIN strand in our souls that makes us choose difficult, balking, insensitive, uncooperative MACHO ANGRY men? ALPHA MEN. AND what makes us REVERE them for those qualities!

We are taught to portray the opposite mode, walk the GENTLE way, being hopeful, silent, pleasing, cooperative like a 3 year old and in so doing, giving up our goals, thoughts, our own minds! ARE WE gals ALL CARD CARRYING MASOCHISTS?

And who did this to us? CULTURE/ HORMONES? LITERATURE. OUR HAPPILY MARRIED MOTHERS who walked that way to keep the peace?

HERE ARE A FEW THOUGHT STARTERS. Have a cup of coffee while you scan a few articles, we give the URLS below.


HOW DO AUTHORS create romantic problems for women?


DOES MASOCHISM exist IN HOT GUYS, ALPHA MALES? BILL CLINTON? Was HILLARY really THE GUY? THE YANG TANGO partner? Was he a covert aggressive?
What happened in that relationship? She was a very alpha female from the gitgo. HE was an ALPHA MALE! Could they live together when both were in high power jobs?


BELLE DE JOUR where an aristocrat played by Catherine Deneuve works at a
brothel, in A BUNUEL film. IS THAT signature MASOCHISM?

HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENT: RENT that film and the more recent French film "ROMANCE" to explore how hot masochism is for a woman. It is VERY X so it's like a litmus test to see how maso you are....French film, probably rentable. NetFlix may have it.

DOES literature & film keep woman in the masochistic role? Idealize it, scare women off a more balanced mode of living? IF WE IDEALIZE the chains of bondage, can we get free???

wrote "STORY OF O, but had to live it first. She died age 91, still CHAINED TO HER MAN! AT time she wrote this big novel of the fifties, she was AFRAID he'd leave her....

He probably didn't leave her cuz she made beaucoup argent on that one!


STUDY and MEDITATE on these LOVE quotations which are TRUTHS.
CAN THE TRUTH shake us out of our instinctive masochism with men?
People have come up with verbal antidotes to our habitual addictions.

Examine Renaissance literature and the ROLES it carved into the centuries.

ALICE DOESN'T LIVE HERE ANYMORE is an archetype of feminine freedom from male domination. Know any other films of the90's where liberation was being broached for the first time?

When we read Strong women, i.e. amazon novels, is THAT sexy? Does the romance fly?  STIEG LARSSON created Lisbeth as adorable. But her amazon nature made him NOT THINK OF LOVE with her.

As they say in Hollywood 'does it work?' NO! We the viewer actually get angry when a woman character is too strident to her man. ALTHOUGH ALPHA MALES who are very sure of themselves do get bored being RIGHT all the time and love the occasional challenge of an alpha female who isn't always available for him. Frank Sinatra was known for  this. He combusted over Ava and Juliet Prouse, true alphas. and MIA, a secret ALPHA, probably due to pot, meditation and NEW AGE philosophy.


Right, so, all Boned up on all this? STAGE TWO OF OUR STUDY WEEKEND now
that the mental inhale has been accomplished, all the data is fresh in
your brain. LIght a candle, scent the water and get in tub, sip some
wine, think.... where am I on the one to ten spectrum of dumb masochists
getting an erotic charge from a bad boy who ruins my life. ONE LIFETIME
is all I got and I LET IT GET RUINED by my own EROTIC need for YIN MASO
THRILLS? "I TOOK it up the yin yang" is a good metaphor for it. DAMAGE
DONE. WANT DAMAGE? Go stand out on a highway, better yet, LIE DOWN on a
busy highway and INVITE traffic to roll over you!

HOW DO WE STOP OUR MASOCHISM????? Simple. Pray for it to go away. That directs power, magic into the unconscious which is where such drives are lodged. KNOW that if you try to wrestle with your mind, that old addicted box on your shoulders, it's hard cuz we get a big bang out of it! Cultural, Ancestral, Genetic, Darwinistic (i.e. strong men replicate better w. weak women? STRONG WOMEN got bred out of the race??) tendencies show that WATER RUNS DOWNHILL and MAN AND WOMAN get into an ALPHA BETA thing.

SCIENCE defines addictions as anything that makes your hormones flow. They can see it in boys who play computer games, HUGE hormonal flow, endorphins, high blood pressure, double normal, and know why these guys are addicted to it and are depressed if they can't play. Jane Pauley just did a show on it.SO KNOW that you may be a LOVE ADDICT in the most literal sense of the word!

OR ----is it JUST A LAZY EROTIC HABIT? It could be an addiction, a habit that feels good. You thought margaritas were addictive?? Smokes? Sugar? Fudge?  TRY BEING YINNED OUTTA YOUR SKULL on a hot guy. Or addicted to the whole romantic thrill of YIN ON THE CHASE..oh yes, YIN chases. She puts herself in places where macho men go. Bars, stables, supermarkets, race tracks, games, the park, bent on meeting them, attracting them, daily. For stay at home gals it can be the pool man, the landscaper. The shop clerk. The guy at the ski boot store. The ski teacher! ON AND ON AND ON. And when the new sweetie isn't around, the gal is talking about guys with other girls, getting that same, hormonal flow. Dressing up to go where they are hanging. SHOPPING for duds so she can go on this YIN PROWL. Getting addicted to believing these guys who see you in that dress are hot for you. And THE YEARS GO BY and you're still doing it! That is an addiction, a time waster and it makes you shallow and trashy just like cocaine or video games or shoplifting addictions do! Eating sugar is an appetite quencher. SO you didn't have spinach salad. Living this way takes the place of real life.You are obsessive. You have to hide the details of how you live from all close friends and relations. You are a LOVE ADDICT!

Worse, you will make permanent decisions to give up your mermaid tail, speed, and palaces in the deep to walk on aching feet behind some earthly MAN, breed his kids then as he's a hot macho guy who from the gitgo was hanging where he could find yin, sexy chicks, ---this dude'll leave; then you will cash his alimony checks and live in a trailer and raise the kids. ANOTHER LIFETIME DOWN!

  LOVE ADDICTION and RECOVERY a good place to finish off your reading.