THE CASE OF THE BLITHE BOZOTHE REALLLY DUMB HUSBAND by Anita Sands Hernandez



My wife's birthday? I dunno. We don't have children

NOT A COMPLAINT, A simple "TAKING NOTE" OF A FACT OF LIFE

There's an internet joke which goes this way: While attending a Marriage Encounter weekend, Ken and his wife Gretchen listened to the instructor declare, "It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other." He addressed the men, "Can you name and describe your wife's favorite flower?" Ken leaned over, touched Gretchen's arm gently and whispered, "Pillsbury All-purpose, isn't it?"

It could happen. We see the bozo zone showing up around men all the time. The man knows absolutely nothing about his wife's favorite things and that woman goes on and on getting a mixmaster for Christmas when she'd prefer Joy perfume and bare root roses as costly flowers die in an hour, the bare root lives forever. Plus, you can buy one dozen bareroot rose plants for the price of a bouquet of roses. But that man doesn't know any of it. Cuz he permanently tunes his wife's universe OUT!

WHY does a man do that to a woman he's close to? Because all that "STUFF" that makes you unique is NOT WHAT HE LOVES or even LIKES. Did he ever ask  you about your beliefs? How your day was? IF NOT, YOU ignored the signs of LACK OF DEEP LOVE. You drifted away from fact his dullness and lack of curiosity about your BRAIN did show up during your COURTSHIP and YOU SETTLED. You got involved with a NARCISSIST. That's worst case. Or more usually, just a JERK. Now, of course, there's no fix. You can't take a father from the family and dump him.  YOU CREATED him being there. ALL you can do is REPENT AND MAKE AMENDS for the distortion you have caused in the UNIVERSE. REMEDY? Run a CHURCH BASEMENT LOVE GROUP where you teach girls only HOW NOT TO MAKE THIS MISTAKE and about l00 OTHERS. 

I know you don't want to leave him. When two people are bonded and one is a woman, that GIRL won't turn off the juice no matter what he does, short of murder, bank robbery and pedophilia. And often those things don't do it. SO what makes men so disinterested in our loves and tastes? And more important, what leverage does a woman have to catch his attention, make him listen, make him study her likes (as she has studied his), make him contribute as she does, on the subtle level, to the joy of the union? NONE if he doesn't CARE. Or CARE TO.

So, it behooves a woman to underline her list of what makes her happy. Her talents, career plans,  her DAILY SCHEDULE needs, her WORK ASSIST needs, and a little of her sexual & economic needs. Then routinely, slip in the TASTES list. MY TASTES LIST: Which, if I had a man, I'd hand him FAVORITE BOUQUET: TUBEROSE and GARDENIAS, DEEP RED SUPER DAMASK FRAGRANCE ROSES but I'd much prefer PLANTS or BULBS to grow the same. For COSTLY CAFE DATES: FRENCH, with red wine. Cheap, ETHNIC CAFE dates: Thai, Ethiopian, Mex, Chinese and black beer not pale. Italian gets Chianti. French BURGUNDY. VACATION? MEXICO. Special snack you want to bring me from the DELI? Cold whole crab or Kippers which are English or Canadian smoked trout.  I love The COLOR BLUE, electric blue. INDIGO. It's so little, you know, my list, so little for a guy to grasp yet I had a boyfriend on/off for thirty solid years who once gave me a RED PURSE. He'd never seen me near that color in his life. WALLS at my house were BLUE every one. What was he thinking? Hey, he wasn't thinking, hadn't thought about it, never did and as after a few years he left me as he didn't ever find me interesting as he never once asked me anything about my life or preferences. Plus he never noticed. I DID NOT NOTICE he was not really interested in ME so "MY BAD!" You are responsible for giving your man your taste list. Your sexual and economic needs list. ENUNCIATE it, write it down.But take note, if he is not asking or listening, he doesn't care. THERE ARE MEN WHO CARE. GET OFF THIS BUS & WAIT AT THE BUS STOP FOR ONE.

Men are so distinctly not of our race that I wonder what testosterone is. Some BLITHENESS chemical? A STUPIDITY hormone? Must be cuz you sure couldn’t get a gal to get in a space capsule for six months in free fall just for some stripes on a uniform. Does one pay for space adventures, muscles and hairy chests with permanent OBLIVION? No. In truth MALE HORMONES are for conquest, action, wariness, protection. If that's enough for you, stay on the bus.

Men prove to us they can remember things another way: by getting to work every morning without getting lost. So give them your list of MY FAVORITE THINGS and let's start a Brave New World where if we please our men, our  men  know how to please us back!

Now here’s your homework. Right now, you’re dating several men, you’re friends with others who’d like to date you, communicate to all your FAVORITE THINGS LIST. We’re going to see “who loves you baby?”. Cuz you may be dating a lot of slimy frogs. If a man doesn’t respond to your list, doesn’t deliver one of those items, then he’s a frog and you shouldn’t be dating him. We want to separate the frogs from the princes, so see who hears you when you have a list and make the truth about  yourself known.

Most girls never read the list because unconsciously they know already he’s a frog.

Another thing: If one of your man-chums promised to do something, take you somewhere, replace those lousy TIRES, help you fix that leaky faucet, tile that front porch, wash dishes after dinner and hasn’t yet complied, hasn’t made good on his promise….you have to mention it, see what he says and if he’s not a stand-up fellow, you have to realize that he’s a frog and strike him off your LIST.

                                                    TELL THE
              TRUTH ABOUT THAT BAD BOYFRIEND TO YOURSELF, NOT TO OTHERS

It does NOT matter how cute or rich he is, FROGS do not make useful husbands. But remember, if you married a frog and just found it out? YOUR BAD.  NATURE AND EVOLUTION left us to our own executive abilities to take responsibility and with research, patience, analysis, vows, method--- DO THE  ACCURATE SEEING THING
 The "FACING TRUTH DISCIPLINE". Yes, instead of Yoga, prayers and silly new age affirmations, hammer out a better sense of reality about your PEOPLE and then either BREAK UP with the junk fish you caught on your hook or if there are kids, contrive an accord, a peace, with him as he is and with our own repentence, conscience and ATONEMENT. TEACH OTHER WOMEN THE SACRED RULE OF TELLING OURSELVES THE TRUTH.  THAT WAY lies a road AWAY from the wilderness back to safety. The MASTER JULES said "Tell yourself the truth about everyone; tell everyone the truth about YOU; TELL OTHERS the TRUTH ABOUT EVERYONE; and gently, TELL THE TRUTH ABOUT OTHERS TO OTHERS. You tell the truth and there will be no more mistakes. No more bad life decisions, no wrong roads taken and as a plus, Everyone will evolve. But in this case  you have to do it BEFORE you marry and have children.

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Our POSTER is ANITA SANDS HERNANDEZ, Los Angeles Writer, Mother of 4, and Career Astrologer. Catch up with her websites TRUTHS GOV WILL HIDE & NEVER TELL YOU, also The  FUTURE, WHAT'S COMIN' AT YA! FRUGAL LIFE STYLE TIPS,  HOW TO SURVIVE the COMING GREAT DEPRESSION, and Secrets of Nature, HOLISTIC, AFFORDABLE HEALING. Also ARTISANRY FOR EXPORT, EARN EUROS....* Anita is at astrology@earthlink.net ). Get a 35$  natal horoscope "my money/future life" reading now + copy horoscope as a Gif file graphic! No smarter, more accurate career reading out there!

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