Got this letter from another American teetering on the brink, her corporation failing so out of a job, rent due, no cash in bank account, divorced, alone. Her creative writings just don't sell.  Thank God she has no children gonna take the fall with her. "Dear Anita: I am blocked, trapped inside a Disturbing Calm. I'm holding panic inside, yet am not able to connect with it, even. I'm 'out of it', I often am startled at the sense of time passing, hours go by, I don't even realize it. As if I'm stunned or something.  Change is impossible. I'm frozen. automatic pilot, holding back my fears, my disturbing calm until I wake for a moment. I get scared at this deadness. Change is required. I know it then I relapse into the disturbing calm. I have longings. I shut them up.  I cry inside but have taught my inner baby to be silent, to shut up. I note that nothing that I do in life seems to satisfy. I can eat a pint of ice cream. No pleasure. Also my intellect is stuck. Nothing that I say can be heard -- it won't come out of my mouth.  I used to write. There seems to be an impediment to my artistic self.  Creativity is hiding away inside the cavities of my bruised heart. Can you see the self inflicted abstinence? How do I rid myself of the coward anxiety? My hands are in deadlock. The disturbing calm is a constant dismay. It is deadness. I am an artist. I want my liveliness back. I am battling my disturbing calm....It is of course anger, rage, depression over my quandry but I basically have blocked them all out. And that deadened ME along with it. I threw the baby out with the bathwater!"signed, M.

Dear M. Ya gotta good pal whom you trust with your 'stuff?' Get this psych buddy and run some gestalt and primal processes on yourself. That's like having a plumber come in and clean the old pipes. The results will be instant FLOW and obtainable immediately and no l00$ an hour!

FIRST understand how easy it is to be in control of your psyche, the unconscious and your mind. You don't have to give in to the DEADENING OF SELF as a survival CHOICE. A simple one day of reading up on "SCAR ERASING", (the thing that makes you kill off memory and feeling, both,) then one day with your PSYCH BUDDY friend being your PRIMAL GURU, and of practice with that pal helping you I think you have more feelings than you can safely allow to come over you. To affect you. So you BLOCK FEELINGS. This happens when we have a basement full of rising water. We shut the doors to the cellar and often the windows of the house and then the blowhole in the attic. The good breeze gets locked out with the bad rising water. The key is the PSYCHIC PLUMBER TECHNOLOGY. It involves going back in time, hallucinating the moments that actually are recorded in your lower depths, getting to them and with a jackhammer, taking them apart. ART JANOV invented it after reading FRITZ PERLS on GESTALT.  Read a few articles on GESTALT and primaling, and then you will easily LOCATE and be able to get rid of the negatives flooding you, under the floors. Read a few articles on YOGA, and hit theclass in your town.  Then you are in bliss consciousness all the time and you can open the doors and feel it all. No more blocked off portions. No more calm that is fear and not real calm. You are filled with neg emotions which show to others as wistfulness, sadness. This drives people away from you. Nobody helps you to succeed in life cuz you seem dopey, wistful, childlike.Angry even.

Then, for your growth into power, tranquility, joy and radiance, the
last touch would be to make ambitious choices, but you can't do that
while you're stuck the way you are. There's guilt, fear, lack of self
image. KNOW THAT YOU ARE GOD --in your universe at least. You can ask God
yourself to give you a SALE OF YOUR SCRIPT, OR BOOK, but he may not be
able to do anything for you in that line. HOWEVER, if you ask God to
make you write daily & print out a copy of the script daily and copy it at KINKOS
and submit it to a new AGENT in NYC or L.A daily...
That your God can help you with! Doing Yoga ties you to that
GOD-YOU and then the meditation and affirmations and prayers about your own
UNIVERSE really work! (See the ART OF PRAYER.)

I give away the classes. I got them free at a kind of PRIMAL INSITUTE
(it was called the FEELING CENTER) as an observer, an auditor but as I
went thru all that work to take the course over weeks' time, then write
it up, again over week's time, you must do the work. Use a friend to do
it. For the gestalt work, then for the yoga, you and pal go to the
actual class. Do these in sequence. Don't do class three cuz it's easy.
Do one and two first.



Then class III. or THREE.