I
know this welloff, beautiful, spiritual, new age twitty sister who
told me "The tub stopper jammed for the third time, mind you these are
brand new tub and fixtures; I called the builder, left message, He ignored
me for a week, so just now I managed to speak directly with the man. He
heard my complaint while kind of grunting. I got no interest. So you know
what I did I prayed that he'd fix it and his people called back and now
I'm expecting the Lord to send them tomorrow." (!)
My response to her was "Judith, six million Jews prayed day and night to be delivered from the Nazis. They had months of time to do this prayer, knew the Nazis were coming. In Poland, Jews were locked in a ghetto for years. LOTS OF TIME TO PRAY and none were ever better at this practice than all these European orthodox Jews. NOT ONE WHIT of what they prayed for was granted. Forgive me if I consider prayer a bit overrated and all praying efforts inconsequential with the amount of business God HAS at hand and I also consider it narcissistic as well as useless to bother God with my needs, as if I had God's private # and could get him on the telephone. "
We were on the phone, but I could hear her frown. "I'll pray for you," she said, then she hung up on me. She liked HER way better. I know, it's a comforting belief system but Karl Marx warned about delusions that comfort you when things go bump in the Night --- delusions like PRAYER. Cuz riding along with them are belief on our rulers being honest, trust that the wars where our rulers murder millions are not about stealing resources. However, I'll admit, newagers, the concept of Daddy waiting on your requests is all very seductive but it's like dosing yourself with valium.
I believe PRAYER HAS POWER to change one's MOOD. The prayer answered button is the same button as the HYPNOSIS button. It is (AT ITS BEST,) a most excellent self hypnosis. A great mood changer when you don't want to make coffee or have an afternoon sherry. I have NOTICED that when our prayers are for stuff on the OUTSIDE of our little six foot universe...like for the favors of the gruff contractor doing the patio for half price, or the compassion of the gruffer Nazis, or for George Clooney to meet me and fall instantly in love with me, our prayers are hopeless. We are IMPOTENT. I don't shun prayer. I know it is POTENT but it is ONLY for conditions INTERIOR. For changing our being-ness which is A BIG THING! And I can't knock that!
Self hypnosis is endlessly useful. And who knows, it may be God and his angels or your Guardian angels, or your Dead Aunt Lilly giving you the mojo. You can pray for FOREKNOWLEDGE of LOTTO NUMBERS. You can pray for the SPIT to DRIVE to the Builder's office and show him the receipts, proof of what you paid for a working tub. Or if you're a jobless person, you pray for the energy to type resumes up, go AROUND SEEKING JOBS, making new friends. Or if you're a starving actor, you pray for the energy to start a STREET ART business, or STREET PHOTOGRAPHY, or something fun that gets you out where Casting directors are walking around. Or you pray for IDEAS and then BRAINSTORM.
YOU can PRAY for your moxie to surface, get a more energetic, fighting spirit. You can pray for your neuroses to abate, your writer's block to depart. THAT you can CONTROL. You can flood yourself with TRUMAN CAPOTE's writing skills one day, GANDHI's political vision the next, DONALD TRUMP's smarts about moola the third day. You can daily change your petition and experience the 31 flavors of HEAVENLY force throbbing thru your body but you cannot pray for a job to fall from heaven into your hands. GOD hasn't GOT THAT ONE wired yet. Ya know why??? Cuz he's doing so WELL with the first method!
God sometimes rewards STRIVINGS. For instance, if you want a job pray for the skill and tenacity to write an ace resume. If you want something and want it badly, it can magically come but it has to be a very particular kind of item. One day I was packing up boxes, cleaning the Master Jules' house as it was for sale. His late mother and father had lived there. I found a slightly cracked ceramic Virgin Mary in bathroom cabinet under the sink. Can I have this? I asked? "No, he responded, "It was my mother's. OK. Fine, That night I go home and my son says look what I found in Beverly Hills alley trash can today. He hands me an identical Virgin Mary which I'm looking at today 12 yrs later. Actually this one doesn't have the crack in it.
So I got a second Virgin and wouldn't you know it, I've got a second VIRGIN MARY story. Yesterday I was given a painting of virgin mary,cleaned every inch with gentle cleaner, dried it, hung it, lit candles, said to the virgin, help me, i want to spend my latter years writing about things useful to mothers, for better planetary mothering. I wanna stop the crap writing I do and do something that is a kinda legacy. I go in room, REJECT THE TV, turn it off! Mothers/ babies in my mind. The monitor screen becomes a bed of potting soil mix, and a floating seed globule of thought pops out of my head, lands, in a tangle of words, drives roots down, and starts flowering....I sit down to type, out came a whole website on NEW AVENUES for motherhood, babies.
Third Mary story. I have a year of writer's block. Can't for the life of me type anything but stuff that produces rent money. No creative writing except my desultory activism and bubble gum metaphysics squibs, those get propelled out hourly. So I go to my altar, pray for two minutes for the writer's block to clear and to be able to work on a real novel. The Mother Mary statue from the Beverly Hills Trash can is right there on my altar. Pray an extra minute, blow out the candle, get up and just walk over to the PC turn to that chapter, that book and I start working on one of my novels with great success all day. NOT A TRACE OF BLOCK!
Fourth Virgin Mary story. I have this dangerous Mars transit right on my Leo ascendant with Saturn semisquare it. Other times, earlier times, Mar/Sat to my rising point had brought cops to the door, with a warrant looking for my son, breaking right in to the house as Mars rules my house of the law. I didn't know my son had had coke in his blood in a car crash six months earlier, so I COULD NOT know they were headed to my house. BUT NIGHT BEFORE I told the manager of Yogi Bhajan's yoga class, 'tomorrow the cops will be at my front door.'
Another incidence. Mars/Uranus were exactly on my ruler, SUN 29 AQUARIUS and MOON linked with them. On 8th cusp of danger at birth (Born with this SUN I am a reckless dogooder activist,). BUT MARS AND URANUS ON IT? More cops. I knew this was as bad as it gets for me. This aspect could only come once every two hundred years, it was that bad. I'm terrified to even go outside. But I have to water the plants and while I do, a black woman of about 25 yrs age appears at my fence. Shabby, sad. Warning bell in my brain says 'don't start a friendship with Moon/ Mars/ Saturn linked. "You need garden work? " She asks.
I'm thinking, 'moon conjunct mars saturn, run don't walk. "Are you homeless?" Yes, I was at the insane asylum at UCLA for a few weeks, then I got arrested by the cops for pushing my boyfriend's van when it died. and they took my dogs out of the van and put them in the pound." Well, with that sad story I did the spiritual thing, the Virgin Mary thing, I fed her breakfast and I didn't make her do garden work for pay. Instead, I heard the story of why she got locked up. She had raged and screamed at her landlord He'd done something minor that displeased her. So after her meal, she went walking and found a garage sale. Oddly these neighbors gave her a Virgin Mary of Guadalupe. She brought the painting home, set it in the room I'd given her. But the garage sale people thought they recognized her from the newspaper and had called the cops. 'It's the missing girl, MIRANDA," and they gave the cop my fone, name and address as she'd given it to them. Within an hour, a homocide cop came to my door wanting to check if this was the missing girl. He looked at her tattoos, which didn't match the missing black girl who'd disappeared from Malibu police station at 2 am last Autumn. For two days after that, she lay around eating and making phone calls. I asked her to hang up during one of these calls and have whomever call her back for money's sake. She refused and went on talking, then started swearing at me in the exact same rage she'd been locked up in the madhouse for, and smashed a big hole in the Virgin Guadaulupe painting and left.
Luckily, when you don't believe in prayer, you don't believe that the Virgin Mary is mad at you either.
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