SINGLE MAN? LONELY? WANT TO MEET A GREAT WOMAN?
A man wrote asking where all the loving, interesting women were. "I saw on your website that you ask "Where are the loving, interesting men?" Hey, we are out here, but nobody seems to want us. I've lived through FIVE decades and now am into my 60s and quite invisible to the females of the world of any age. I have been alone through the summer of love, the decadent 70s and seductive 80s, the greedy 90s and the indescribably terrorizing 2000s.
I dress well, am tall, slim, muscular. I earn a good living but I gave up going out or attempting to find romance or relationships years ago. I know firsthand of which you write about --those poor lonely thirty year old girls in big cities. If guys only seem to want Angelinas, then the girls will not settle for less than Brads. There are very few MOVIE STAR LOOKERS out there.
I know that many men are idiotic Peter Pans who numb themselves with booze and drugs and watch the Simpsons as high entertainment, but there are many of us who do not. I have a degree in psychology and a career in programming computers. I can afford to take a woman out to lunch 3 times in a row, so she slowly becomes attracted, so I really get under her skin. But I CANNOT FIND a woman interesting enough to lunch with. They all seem so trivial and banal. I have a test kit. I ask her how she feels about Trump being elected. I ask her why there were no activists during any of the BUSH WARS like in the 60's with NAM. They haven't a response to either question. WHY WOULD I WANT TO BE with a woman who knew nothing about anything?
As for a divorced woman, closer to my own age. What was wrong with her she's divorced? Many men and women hit their 30s and decide there is something better out there. They abandon their spouses leaving their lovely kids without a father and do it for someone else or actually they buy a pig in a poke just for a case of the hots. I know about this, the reshuffle syndrome --as I am also a programming language teacher and see it all the time with my male students, men who have families with kids of nine and ten. The wife picks up and leaves.
What is the cause? I think you hit it squarely in your article : unrealistic expectations arising from the powerful forces of popular culture. What is the answer? Selflessness and duty to the community is a good start.Where can I find a single woman with that kind of ethos?"
I answered: I'll bet that you go to bars and honkey tonk country music joints, buy gals a lot of mimosas and drinks with umbrellas and still find no great women. Right? Well the ANSWER to that quandry is to stay out of bars and clubs. The really terrific gals are not THERE. YOU CANNOT MEET WOMEN at the early morning breakfast out spot cuz WOMEN who are on their way to work at 8 am MAKE THEIR OWN BREAKFAST. Girls can meet men there. But not the other way around."
IF you want smart women, Hit the THRIFT STORE with a major book collection, family owned is the smartest as prices are better. You'll get a frugal woman, and that's really smart.
OR hit the USED BOOK STORE where smart women go to buy l0 books for l0$ and not ONE book for 27$. Would you want to marry the ditz who spent 27$ on a single book? In addition, create a LIVING ROOM group. SPECIAL INTEREST. (FRIEND OF THE MAC, or SCREENWRITER'S CIRCLE or NOVELIST CLUB or BOOK READERS' SHARE GROUP. Use a friend's house, preferably a woman with a great living room. Last and best, go to the public library, week days for single mothers, week-ends for working mothers, Closing time for working and single.
OR WILD IDEAS: START A SINGLES PARTY at a LOCAL CAFE, once a month, sell tickets for 10$ each and profits go to YEMENI STARVING CHILDREN FUND the one in AFRICA called GIFT OF THE GIVERS. Join garden clubs, (divorced women with huge opulent homes.) And seek friends at the library. Start hobbies that involve literature, writing, philosophy, maybe a poetry club? Join the Muslim religion. GREAT WOMEN THERE, and all drowning in suppressive men! Go to CHURCH even if it's only just to find a wife. God won't be mad. He invented this whole mating dance thing. But be certain you want a Bible thumper.
Also HIT ADULT HIGH SCHOOL, those classes in the computer rooms when the kids leave, they go 7-9 pm, three nites a week. I took sculpture there, PC's, art, sewing, many subjects. No, come to think of it, don't go to a sewing class. But an INVESTMENT class? Divorcees with lots of stocks? Do a REAL ESTATE club and find partners to buy 4 unit bldgs. Then, go into 10 unit, and you be the landlord to interview all those single women or single mothers looking to rent. Just watch out for 'it's not love, it's Stockholm Syndrome!'
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