ALL realities about Marital life are conveyed by the MYTH of the Husband Store
Imagine. A posh Department store that sells new husbands has opened Downtown , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:
You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and
the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the
flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor,
or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back
down except to exit the building by elevator!
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the
first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs
She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign
Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.'
So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely
Good Looking. No paunch. Men with the 'right size'
'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good
Looking and Help With Housework without mumbling angry complaints!
'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead
Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic
Streak but never push to do it in the morning! So rude.
She almost faints with joy, so glad she came to this magic store &
she is tempted to stay right there, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the
Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men
on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are
impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
The elevator is there, you are invited to leave now.
And of course as there's no way back down to Floor 5 and once
in, you can never ever come back, so you see why exactly half of the women
born on this planet never find husbands or why many throw back the one they got.
This just in: To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New
Wives store just across the street! Very few single men can be induced to even
go into the store as they're having such a good time on the streets, in the clubs,
earning good money and spending it just on themselves and their toys. But a few
realize that a permanent squaw might be nice, and go in.
The first floor has wives that will tilt a cup at a bar and enjoy the dinner and who love sex.
The second floor has wives that love sex and don't spend money like a sailor
on shoreleave but who instead budget carefully, (no new dresses /shoes every week)
these women like to watch football and share some beer occasionally and don't
nag or preach to their mates.
Men just go ape right there. The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.
EVERY MAN who enters the Marriage store finds just what he wants fast. The only
single men who are out on the street unmarried just never wanted to come in the door and
all men who leave with a Second Floor woman are happy for life.
That is how men are different from women. And it's never going to change.
SO, make your man very happy today and realize that you may never be
happy. There is a famous poll done in the 50's to find out who was happy. Married men
scored at the top, followed by Single women, followed by Single men. The
least happy group was married women. We attribute that unhappy statistic to the
Myth of the Wives Store. We gals are never satisfied. Now God put that in us so
that we'd be superb teachers to children. Women will hold up the Utopian Ideals of
life to children incessantly and thusly build a better humankind.
* * * * *