(HILARIOUS AND VERY ACID)
Dear President Obama:
I'm planning to move my family and extended
family into Mexico for my health, and I
would like to ask you to assist me.
We're planning to simply walk across the
border from the U.S. into Mexico , and we'll
need your help to make a few arrangements.
We plan to skip all the legal stuff like visas,
passports, immigration quotas and laws.
I'm sure they handle those things the same way
you do here. So, would you mind telling your
buddy, President Calderon, that I'm on my
way over?
Please let him know that I will be expecting
the following:
1. Free medical care for my entire family.
2. English-speaking government bureaucrats
for all services I might need, whether I use
them or not.
3. Please print all Mexican government forms
in English.
4. I want my grandkids to be taught Spanish
by English-speaking (bi-lingual) teachers.
5. Tell their schools they need to include
classes on American culture and history.
6. I want my grandkids to see the American
flag on one of the flag poles at their school.
7. Please plan to feed my grandkids at school
for both breakfast and lunch.
8. I will need a local Mexican driver's license
so I can get easy access to government
services.
9. I do plan to get a car and drive in Mexico
but I don't plan to purchase car insurance, and
I probably won't make any special effort to
learn local traffic laws.
10. In case one of the Mexican police officers
does not get the memo from their president to
leave me alone, please be sure that every
patrol car has at least one English-speaking
officer.
11. I plan to fly the U.S. flag from my house
top, put U. S. flag decals on my car, and have
a gigantic celebration on July 4th. I do not
want any complaints or negative comments
from the locals.
12. I would also like to have a nice job
without paying any taxes, or have any labor or
tax laws enforced on any business I may start.
13. Please have the president tell all the
Mexican people to be extremely nice and
never say critical things about me or my
family, or about the strain we might place on
their economy.
14. I want to receive free food stamps.
15. Naturally, I'll expect free rent subsidies.
16. I'll need Income tax credits so although I
don't pay Mexican Taxes, I'll receive money
from the government.
17. Please arrange it so that the Mexican
Gov't pays $4,500 to help me buy a new car.
18. Oh yes, I almost forgot, please enroll me
free into the Mexican Social Security program
so that I'll get a monthly income in
retirement.
I know this is an easy request because you
already do all these things for all his people
who walk over to the U.S. from Mexico . I
am sure that President Calderon won't mind
returning the favor if you ask him nicely.
Thank you so much for your kind
help. You're the man!!!
-----Original Message-----
From: PBA5050@aol.com
To: TJR288@aol.com; Tmb0856@aol.com; MrEdRudy@aol.com;
john2551@optonline.net;
ELECTRICMAN5@VERIZON.NET; Hank731@verizon.net
Sent: Mon, May 10, 2010 9:39 pm
Subject: Fwd: Moving to Mexico
From: CRUSADER4RETIREE@aol.com
To: ronaldweiner@yahoo.com
BCC: PBA5050@aol.com
Sent: 5/10/2010 8:46:27 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time
Subj: Fwd: Moving to Mexico
MOVING TO MEXICO
Dear Mr. President:
I'm planning to move my family
and extended family into Mexico
for my health, and I would like
to ask you to assist me.
We're planning to simply walk
across the border from the U.S.
into Mexico , and we'll need your
help to make a few
arrangements.
We plan to skip all the legal
stuff
like visas, passports, immigration
quotas and laws.
I'm sure they handle those things
the same way you do here. So,
would you mind telling your
buddy, President Calderon, that
I'm on my way over?
Please let him know that I will be
expecting the following:
1. Free medical care for my
entire family.
2. English-speaking government
bureaucrats for all services I
might need, whether I use them or
not.
3. Please print all Mexican
government forms in English.
4. I want my grandkids to be
taught Spanish by
English-speaking (bi-lingual)
teachers.
5. Tell their schools they need to
include classes on American
culture and history.
6. I want my grandkids to see the
American flag on one of the flag
poles at their school.
7. Please plan to feed my
grandkids at school for both
breakfast and lunch.
8. I will need a local Mexican
driver's license so I can get easy
access to government services.
9. I do plan to get a car and
drive
in Mexico but I don't plan to
purchase car insurance, and I
probably won't make any special
effort to learn local traffic
laws.
10. In case one of the Mexican
police officers does not get the
memo from their president to
leave me alone, please be sure
that every patrol car has at least
one English-speaking officer.
11. I plan to fly the U.S. flag
from my house top, put U. S. flag
decals on my car, and have a
gigantic celebration on July 4th.
I
do not want any complaints or
negative comments from the
locals.
12. I would also like to have a
nice job without paying any
taxes, or have any labor or tax
laws enforced on any business I
may start.
13. Please have the president tell
all the Mexican people to be
extremely nice and never say
critical things about me or my
family, or about the strain we
might place on their economy.
14. I want to receive free food
stamps.
15. Naturally, I'll expect free
rent
subsidies.
16. I'll need Income tax credits
so
although I don't pay Mexican
Taxes, I'll receive money from
the government.
17. Please arrange it so that the
Mexican Gov't pays $4,500 to
help me buy a new car.
18. Oh yes, I almost forgot,
please enroll me free into the
Mexican Social Security program
so that I'll get a monthly income
in retirement.
I know this is an easy request
because you already do all these
things for all his people who walk
over to the U.S. from Mexico .
I am sure that President Calderon
won't mind returning the favor if
you ask him nicely.
Thank you so much for your kind
help. You're the man!!!
signed, An American citizen, looking for la vida loca!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
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