THE INSANITY OF ROMANCE. ARE YOU IN LOVE? If so, believe this: Thirty, Forty or Fifty years from now, you will look back at the mistakes you commited in the throes of this passion and realize that you lost your mind.
You did things that proved you were needy, obsessive, certifiable. You phoned him all the time. You stayed home waiting for him to call missing all kinds of offers for outings. And occasionally you got really angry at him for little things he didn't do, (WHICH NO MAN does,) and showed how much you NEED BOLSTERING all the time. Like remembering anniversaries, birthdays, taking you to nice cafes, you wanted MORE
It doesn't matter if the guy was a jerk or a genius, I can predict that because of your obsession for him, and his proving his love, you somehow lost status for being angry at him or LOST fun events, new friends, new people and will eventually lose YOUR MIND and commit acts so bezerk, so full of jealousy, fear, criminality even that you will never forgive yourself later. If people around you observe, note or remember what you do in this state, you will be embarassed for life.
It's not just that you saw things in him that weren't there. We can forgive seeing signs of PRINCEDOM in frogs. Mother Nature does that hypnotizing faith thing to you ---like he's the greatest man God ever made, right? She does it in the hope that you will create a new LIFE out of this pollenizer and care for that life, seeing the father in the son.
Prompted by passion, you will do much worse, dumber, more embarassing things than have his child and lose your career ---you will make insane choices. ALL WOMEN DO and none of us will ever fess up to it later ergo there's no way to teach another generation not to make these errors. NOBODY is out there warning you that PASSION AND MADNESS are the same thing!! So there's no catechism or liturgy on the INSANITY OF WOMEN for you to hear be taught or read but trust me when I tell you that all the females who ever walked Earth totally LOST it when in the grip of 'TRUE LOVE,' which turned out not to be true at all. Just a phantasmagoria! A delusion --- they destroyed their lives, their children's lives and dashed their parents hopes. They created children who would suffer from the results of that madness.
I'll prove it. Just read more biographies of great women (The Prize Pulitzer by Roxanne Pulitzer, the Life of Isadora Duncan, Marilyn Monroe,) and you'll see that this is so. And every single one of them lived to regret what they'd done.
Ulysses was warned, when you get near those rocks, put wax in your ears as the sirens will sing to you and you'll dash yourselves to death on the rocks. Ulysses had his sailors tie him to the mast so that he could hear their song. And sure enough, hearing their song, he demanded to be untied, demanded they guide the ship toward the rocks but luckily his sailors couldn't hear him. They had the wax!
Be very careful! No one out there is going to warn you about the hypnotic trance you'll fall into, the idiotic heights of folly of which you're capable, nor warn you to what extent you will run after your sweetheart, crushed out, insane, foolish, giving yourself away, drooling and chasing and weeping, battling rivals that you hallucinate up on your own, thrown from peak to abyss like a leaf in a typhoon.
Desire can make even the NORMAL person PSYCHOTIC Freud called love sickness “the psychosis of normal people." I think we can believe it from SIGMUND, no?
A recent book, "On Desire: Why We Want What We Want" alleges that WE ARE ALL PSYCHOTIC when in love. Thank God, at last somebody states it. A scientist no less. It was written by William B. Irvine a Professor of Philosophy at Wright State University in Dayton, Ohio. His book is a wide-ranging tour of our impulses, wants and needs, showing us where these feelings come from and how we can try to rein them in. In the excerpt below Irvine looks at love as a desire. (Buy at ABEBOOKS USED)
"Some desires are formed as the result of rational thought processes. Suppose that I want lunch. I conclude that the best way to get it, give that my refrigerator is empty, is to drive to a nearby restaurant. As a result, I form a desire to drive to the restaurant in question. This process is perfectly, admirable rational.
It would be a mistake, though, to suppose that all our desires are formed in this logical manner. To the contrary, many of our most profound, life-affecting desires are not rational, in the sense that we don’t use rational thought processes to form them. Indeed, we don’t form them; they form themselves within us. They simply pop into our heads, uninvited and unannounced. While they reside there, they take control of our lives. A single rogue desire can trample the plans we had for our lives and thereby alter our destinies.
If we are to undertake desire-indeed, if we are to understand the human condition-we need to acknowledge the possibility of spontaneous desire…
Falling in love is the paradigmatic example of an involuntary life-affecting desire. We don’t reason our way into love, and we typically can’t reason our way out: when we are in love, our intellectual weapons stop working. Falling in love is like waking up with a cold-or more fittingly, like waking up with a fever. We don’t decide to fall in love, any more than we decide to catch the flu. Lovesickness is a condition brought upon us, against our will, by a force somehow external to us…
When we are lovesick, we lose a significant amount of control over our lives. We start acting foolishly-indeed, we become fools for love. Roman Stoic philosopher Seneca described love as “friendship gone mad.” French aphorist François duc Le Rochefoucauld declared, “All the passions cause us to make mistakes, but love is responsible for the silliest ones. Freud called love sickness “the psychosis of normal people.”…
We can likewise find in Plutarch descriptions of love sickness as a medical condition. He tells us that in the third century B.C., Erasistratus was asked to diagnose Prince Antiochus, the son of King Seleucus. The symptoms: “his voice faltered, his face flushed up, his eyes glanced stealthily, a sudden sweat broke out on his skin, the beatings of his heart were irregular and violent, and, unable to support the excess of his passion, he would sink into a state of faintness, prostration, and pallor.” Erasistratus’s diagnosis: the lad was lovesick.
Robert Burton, in his Anatomy of Melancholy, published in 1621, has much to say about love sickness as a medical condition. He observes that “of all passions…Love is most violent.” He also offers a cure for love sickness: “The last refuge and surest remedy, to be put in practice in the utmost place, when no other means will take effect, is, to let them go together, and enjoy one another.”
The symptoms of love sickness are well known to anyone who has been afflicted by it. First comes a fixation on a person-a crush. (The common use of the word crush, by the way, is syntactically backward: we speak of having a crush on someone, but what really happens is that we feel crushed by them-we feel as if there were a heavy weight on our chest.) With this crush, we lose control of part of our thought processes inasmuch as we cannot stop thinking about the object of our desire. We experience what psychologists call intrusive thoughts.
When we are lovesick, our love makes sense to us, much as our delusions make sense to us when we are in the grip of a high fever or our nightmares make sense to us while we are asleep. To our friends and relatives, though, our infatuation might make no sense at all: “What can he possibly see in her?” they will ask. And in the same way as a fever can pass or we can awaken from a nightmare, love sickness can end, at which point we might go up to our friends and relatives, bewildered, and ask, “What did I see in her?” In the words of French philosopher and mathematician Blaise Pascal, “The heart has its reasons, which reason does not know.”…
…In love, then, we have a dramatic illustration of the roles desire can play in human life. It can grab us by the scruff of the neck, shake us for a spell, and then discard us.
This is especially so for the young. The mating call, the sirens' song, tells us that we two are meant to be together, the nesting urge surfaces.and you're done for. Plan now how you can stuff wax in your ears. I suggest buddy systems. Your friend promises to remind you daily to repeat an anti-insanity mantra, "I am all the things I admire in him. I can have the joyous destiny I imagine he offers, without him. If he wants to take me to dinner a few times a week, that's fine. I can live with that and no more. I am a monk in the temple of God's plans for earth, I do not distract myself with peon men. I forward evolution. I advance the action. I will not be tempted by hot studs, rich men, famous men or any man at all. I work for the Big Man, the Big Boss. I will keep myself so busy with His work that I will never, ever want to come down to the swamp and wet my toes in that murky water. I like myself too much to do that. "
Fail to do that mantra daily and escape his clutches and you will be one regretful, sorry woman. Take the high road, away from the swamp to the mountain peaks and be prepared to travel it alone. Usually that kind of monastic resistance and commitment will make the right man follow you, serve you in your work. Be an asset, a help mate instead of an asshole and a mate-with-any-blonde that passes by.
It's your choice. You can forget your daily mantra...but remember, ULYSSES had his friends TIE him to that mast. Seek the help of friends. DEPUTIZE girlfriends to remind you to stay sane. Just Say no to Studs Machola. And repeat the mantra over and over again. "I imagine qualities in him that I want for myself... If I get HIM that means I will never manifest those talents myself. I will become housekeeper to someone I am actually jealous of. And he will know it."
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