HOW TO RUN AN ONLINE CONSULTANCY
BUSINESS -- the MONEY end of it!
If a welfare mother with
four kids can run a cottage industry consultancy business off her kitchen
table, for forty years and never
fill out an IRS form, so can you.
In 1969, I returned to my
hometown, Los Angeles, with four Spanish speaking children between zero and
five years old. Like many mothers of infants, toddlers, plus a grade school
child, I couldn’t afford daycare (a thousand a month) and had to stay home and
make lunches, pick them up at school, push a cradle and grow vegetables if I
wanted to eat. The DPSS wanted me to live on 123$ a month food stamps, a 250$
AFDC cash STIPEND to come each month which I could towards my $350 DOLLAR rent but if they caught me with a dime of earnings, the deal was
off. I had to out of a sock, pull extra rent and all that utility money. This never added up, for me. “I can’t live
on a $250 welfare check”, I told them. “Then get a job or get married, they
said. “But we will be taking part of your salary to pay for your AFDC.” But how a job with four toddler kids?
DAYCARE would be ten times costlier than the salary? I replied, real irate.
“Get your Spanish hubby to pay some alimony. “ they said, giving me photos of
every LUIS HERNANDEZ in L.A. with a driver’s license. “None of these bozos is
Luis Sr. He’s in MEXICO, has a steel factory” I then swore up and down that in
Mexico City where I left him, they hadn’t even the word ‘alimony’ in the
dictionary. They showed me the door.
However I’ll say this for
them. That puny little welfare check DID come every month. I’ll say that for
the DPSS! (Except for a few months where they tried to say I couldn’t be living
this well on a welfare check of 200$, how did I do it and they cancelled me,
forcing me to come in and tell them that my rich chums gave me old baby clothes
and tinned food that was outdated.)
You see, the moment I came
back to L.A. and saw how the WELFARE dept looked at your every move, your bank
accounts, yet gave you so little money that rent, food, utilities could not be
met…I quickly saw that my return to California was going to be a cash disaster
unless I opened a home business, under the kitchen table as no daycare was
going to be possible. Now, I sewed a little but not enough for my first and
only job for Drama Coach Stella Adler, which failed miserably. The only other
thing I knew how to do was type fast, and oh yes, interpret a horoscope, so I turned
to a typed horoscope-cottage industry, one I didn’t tell the DPSS about, as
they tend to dock you every cent you make.
I found that my tendency to write an article on every INTERESTING CONCEPT that I’d ever discovered was an asset. The INTERNET is about searching for INFO that you need. Well, folks found my INFO on about TWENTY MAIN SUBJECTS (gardening, cooking, babies, cottage industries, romance and marrying well, UFOS, New age Insanity psych-cures, holistic rejuvenation diets,) and folks then saw that I also ran a FUN WHOPPEE CUSHION of a “consultancy biz” and they’d scrutinize the article to find my email and write me! So I expanded into really writing up every damn “WONDER of the WORLD” I ever discovered. The cure to ASIAN BIRD FLU, the WAY TO PENETRATE HIGH SOCIETY AND RUN YOUR OWN CHARITY and give yourself a SALARY….posting these articles at MY 5$ a month WEBSITES. Or at other INFO JUNKIES’ WEBSITES. I realized that this was like OFFERING FREE TRADE BEADS to the world. Folks began to beat a path to my TEEPEE! (WELL, my CYBER TEEPEE!)
I couldn’t get my butt published in magazines as I
was one off the wall LEFTIST, HOLISTIC but I would always cite my credentials.
I’d seen flying saucers. My kids had been cured by a homeopath of deadly
diseases with little tiny pastilles! Cops had one day come right into my house
without knocking, trashing the constitution looking for my son, not me. (his
sin, Driving with one BEER .)
One day I wrote an article about brainstorming up new
things, thinking outside the Box. I read a book called PURPLE COW to assist.
The headset of the able CEO entails specific brain gears we cannot imagine.
I wrote those uses up as an article
called it “DOUBLE
YOUR BUSINESS “ a concept to inspire home CEOS to find a second or
third business that you could run out of the same office. SIDESELLING I called
it.
I followed my method, making a list of anything and
everything I could do. I could regress people to past lives. True, few people
wanted to see their past lives or even believed in them. Fewer wanted to trek
to the VALLEY for it. What else could I do? Something that would bring in the
crowds. It occurred to me that the great l9th century Hindu Saint Ramakrishna
had once said that there were only two things that make people nuts, love
and money. I suspected I was real ‘up’ on the former.I’d been a flaming
Venus in Aquarius ditz when I was young & I knew a lot about men, dating
and romance from that as well as layers more of info from clients. Why couldn’t
I do a Web Seminar on LOVE? Over 30 years (at that time,) of reading stars and
palms for clients (I had another 15 years before -- just doing stars &
palms as a hobby, I don’t count those.) but in 45 years total, I had LEARNED a
lot about WOMEN and their love problems by hearing all those amazing horror
stories. People don’t come to you when things are good, so slowly, I developed
a set of files I call the RUTHLESS RULES OF ROMANCE and I became an online,
freebie love consultant and immediately started advertising on Craig’s list.
I
INSTANTLY HAD A TON OF READERS
THEY
WROTE ME ALL THE TIME. BUT
NOT
A TON OF MONEY. I HAD ESTABLISHED
MY
CREDENTIALS. I HAD TRADE BEADS
TO
GIVE AWAY, SOME ASTROLOGY CLIENTS
BUT
NO REAL, BIG MONEY.
So I rode that wave the way it crashed, for a while,
while I waited to see how POPULARITY could translate to MONEY. I became a freebie online ROMANCE GURU, a teacher, also at my MONEY SITES, a HOW TO MAKE
MONEY UNDER THE TABLE GURU, but I do not charge. Those are my credentials, so
if you wish, you might use my business suggestions --that is, if you are any
kind of consultant, a website designer, a stock advisor or psychologist,
develop your unique features and put it in WEB LINGO. LUCK IN LOVE is
alliterative, easy to remember. Find a handy, easy to memorize name. A pal
wants to give me a website, he bought the name before I met him, it’s
MISSIT.ORG Well for one month, no matter how I tried to remember it, I
couldn’t. It couldn’t attach itself to my brain. I had to think what it meant.
It should be about DID YOU MISS THE NEWS STORY, so DID YOU MISS THIS NEWS ORG.
Missit by itself was too neutral to recall. So picking a name is EVERYTHING.
For example. my ONLINE WEBSITE and FREE SEMINAR for
those who want to do big fun parties for any “FEED an AFRICAN BABY” CHARITY
that you like and salary yourself is VULTURESANDWICH.ORG.
The concept and especially the NAME is bold, sprightly, young, bombastic, easy
to remember!
My daughter Paloma is a sprig off the ole tree,
she’s BIG APPLE BABIES,
child portraits in NYC for the Uberwealthy at 500$ a sitting. She meets you in
Central park, shoots you in an hour. Returns to RIVERDALE, their version of the
Valley.
I don’t know the cash details of her biz but for me,
there are two ways to make certain that I get the money the client owes A.)
By never doing the work without the check or paypal payment in hand. B.)
by keeping my rates real low so nobody NEEDS to stiff me and C.) By
maintaining certain, astringent systems that are hidden under casual little
'rules.'
Your people might be different. It might be that
your clients might want their website looked at, their design choices hammered
up, or their stock buys analyzed. The thing is, you and I have to strike fast
to get them to write the check before they get the hard work
invested by you so
Then I explain how we can test our men without fully
answering her question. I will even email her an article that I wrote on MEN,
WHY THEY LIE, WHAT IT REALLY MEANS. Cuz the truth is, it means NOTHING! Men
are taught at their mother’s skirts to lie like rugs. So girls, getover it.
Especially if he’s the father of your children and works hard. If he’s a boyfriend,
then you can afford to be picky over a liar. Depends what he’s lying about.
I may send that email right after the conversation
--in case she's forgotten how brilliant the conversation was. I make certain that
my home phone number is on my email, and “love to talk to you anytime.”
I hope that my advice was worded in such a way that
a.) she got instant mental relief from her anguish, fear and uncertainty and
b.) she sees the wisdom in getting me to further analyze their problem. I might
say “Don’t let this go because the relationship is headed into problems
immediately if you continue to judge him, be paranoid about these little lies
and if you can’t forgive and deal with how he is.” Pay me for one hour we can
go on talking any day this week. Or next week.”
She will want to send me at least my hour 25$
consultancy fee to get me to give them a professional analysis. Getting their
CHECK by return mail is fine, one in a hundred checks are rubber and bounce.
When you are online, get paid first. NEVER EVER ask for and expect a check for
after the reading is over. THOSE are guaranteed to be rubber promises cuz
they’re written on air! When a client is with me in my office, I do get paid
afterwards.Rubber checks are rarely (once in 30 yrs of readings) given in person.
But we're talking online
If they approach me by e-mail I instantly while
they're hot, email them or call them back. Try to do it with a phone call, so
get a PHONE card at 99c store fora penny a minute (!) phone calls. You can
afford to invest 5 minutes in a phone call to a far away city.
AS FOR GIVING THE FULL READING WHEN THEY FIRST call
or write? No, only a few crumbs of it. The big piece of research work comes
ONLY if they cut you a check or send cash with paypal. If they say you know me,
I’m good for it. Say, “I can’t find the love in my heart that makes me psychic
without knowing I am liked. To not pay me and ask me to work for you is a turn
off. Love or friendship is the surest key to my GUIDE LIGHT being turned on.”
If you don't know the person who sent them, i.e.
their friends – and know them well, (so you could rat them out for no pay,) and
don't know them, NEVER! You can't do freebies with new clients. ONLY WITH OLD
clients, with whom there is a tone of genuine friendship.
If you’re waiting for a check that they are going to
mail, dress up your request. Say " I need to have and know the many
questions that are in your heart so it helps me as a psychic if you write every
question about the lover, the kid, the husband, etc, on a pc of paper. Mail it
to me. Make sure it is handwritten as I get a lot off that. I am going to cast
your horoscope, his, do the research on your chart and the timing related to
questions where timing is a part of the answer. You can't be on the phone with
me when I do the math and research the chart. That's boring private and
meditative work. I spend a few hrs, which I don't charge you for --doing that
study. And so many of the issues involve going thru ephemeris to check dates
that you give me, when the fights occurred, so that the truth will be visible,
and when he is most likely to show his dark side or contrarily when he’s most
prone to actually proposing….when that will come.
ALSO (I tell them, )"as I'm partly psychic,
when I see your handwriting, how you write the word BOYFRIEND, or write his
name I get clues so it is very important. So don't type it. WRITE the thing
out. And I mean give me TEN QUESTIONS or whatever many, but concerns that are
coming right out of your heart.
The day I get it your check, I will start the math
work, the research. I will email you and tell you when you should phone me. I
often LATER will ask them to send Xeroxes of their palms but only on the second
letter as doing that takes so much time they forget me on the first meeting.
And then, I never hear from them again, ever.
If I am instructing them about cash realities on an
EMAIL….I discuss emotional realities in the body of the letter. Then, I WRITE
OUT A Post Script WHERE WE GET TO THE MONEY SITUATION. I say, P.S. (as if this
were a secondary consideration). Send a check or money order for an hour
research time which refers to the time spent casting the horoscopes, and then
ADD ON THE FEE FOR the hour we will be talking. I don't charge for all the hrs
I actually put into the chart math. Chart research. I'm 25$ the hr. so figure
how long we'll talk, etc. 2 hrs is the usual minimum.
IF you want to give some freebie talk in the first
few minutes of hearing the client's voice on the fone, keep it general
philosophic information that has very high tone to it. I use this kind of
palaver
When I write articles, I always do several things to
insure REPEAT BUSINESS. If I’m talking about something, I GIVE AN URL that
explains more, as often as I can. I will insert various websites’ urls. Like
this. MY HOME SITE. People go there, read some more & as
I ALWAYS HAVE AN EMAIL ADDRESS hanging around, they write, and I always answer.
They find me thru articles. For the same reason, I offer free garden seeds and
bulbs to a list of l000 names. They send those offers on to their pals and now
I can give their pal the same url, links, 'what's your dob?' let me send you
the freebie dailies. OH, the freebie dailies are a fine way to meet folks. Give
them freebie dailies for a half yr, then say if you want them, it's donation or
it's 5$ a month or whatever.
So, I
began to crave decent, normal clients. NOT SCREWY LOUISE, but PERT GERT! I then
made up an ad and put it on my website. THE STAR AD by itself, even hanging in cyberspace was not going to attract
foot traffic so I did something new. I WROTE an AD at CRAIGS LIST that had the
URL IN IT. I put the ad up in multiple cities and did it daily! Suddenly people
were calling or emailing me from all over America, two or three a day. I sent
them my merchandise, something in cyber bytes, not an article on the shelf I
had to buy from a wholesaler and sell at retail prices. But text that came out
of my head. That was my merchandise, as I’m a consultant.
So consider my suggestions and get an online
consultancy business up and going. You will find the INTERNET a fruitful field.
Believe me!