DEAR ANITA, it'll be so great to MEET YOU! I love your writing. I am half way thru the seventy chapters. And guess what! I may move to L.A.!! signed JENI!

DEAR JENI! Whatever you do, don't move to Los Angeles. Beauty is wasted in Hollywood. Nobody appreciates good looking girls. There are too many of them here! My theory on that is that for  l00 years ALL the beauties of this planet have been coming here, their grandaughters bred and now there is some kind of California super BABE here --- pneumatic, blown up gals with perfect skin, 20" waists, little upturned noses, mops of curly shiny hair, legs that go to their throat. EEEK! What's an ordinary gorgeous woman to do with them around?

And these girls were born knowing how to flirt. They are third generation MAN PLEASERS! Superhuman Amazon wonder women.  NONE Of them appears to want to marry -- ergo they move thru society like a tidal wave of devil mollusks eating everything MANLY in their path, crunching it like so much cookie debris between their rolling teeth. ALL they want is careers. Do you know that axiom, "who do I have to #(*%& to get off this movie?" (It always gets a big laff on a movie set in L.A.) These girls are working that axiom backwards, which hasn't been done since the forties!

So you come here, you're up against them and they are the dominant species, super predominant, available, the reigning critter in this town. So FERGETABOUT L.A. or HELL-A as I call it!

EVEN ASTROLOGERS like me have a hard time with these babes as they are ALL TITS AND TEETH and need nothing to rummage and plunder, not advice, not morale lifts, not even tit lifts. THEY ARE PERFECT. They are getting younger and younger too, as (did I say?) they're breeding like Natasha Henstridge --the reptoid in "SPECIES!"

I suspect that if you lift a rock on VENICE BEACH you'll find a few of them hibernating waiting for PUBERTY to hit so they can emerge and rumble toward the local studios, indies and casting calls plowing thru  to the desk in a cloud of JOY perfume saying  may I go straight in to see the producer? (bat bat eyelash) And in they go.

THE REST OF US ARE LOST! Only in the backwash among the taco shops can a girl get any respect. Guys in low-riders with hair nets will whistle and you'll know you beat out the local frizzy latina pop-tartletts (no starlets among Chicanas; Salma Hayak and that tidal wave of South Americans did not start a trend) and with your pocho boyfriend you can have a great Saturday nite date.

So go anywhere but HELL-A. ---it's really the worst place to look for a man. GREAT beauties are mudwrestling here. ALL have had their hearts broken by film industry execs who treat them sort of well while they date, have an affair, then they find a new beauty, the old one is treated like dirt. And pretty girls work in studios by the dozen and earn MINIMUM WAGE for the privilege!

L.A. is a heartbreaker. EVEN FILM stars are so insecure they go nuts on downers. I have worked for an OSCAR NOMINEE or 7 yrs. Even reigning film stars are used and abused, again by film industry guys. The nominee's boyfriend /manager stood too close to her wallet for seven years. He started boffing her secretary, then both of them got in too close to the star's femme accountant. Some kind of weird freeway-three-way cuz now forty million dollars are missing and he appears to have real estate  in remote countries, in tropical islands and the FBI is trying to track an intricate net of thieving and sucking that the blithe and very loving nominee let happen.

THERE ARE VERY FEW BILLIONAIRES in L.A. WHYIZZAT you suppose? Cuzthe super rich consider the whole place corrupt and tacky. Want to marry a man who can give you a life? Try FRISCO, HOUSTON, NYC, DENVER are the best bet. London, Paris, Geneva, Zurich. GERMANY is full of them. So, educate yourself, speak languages, get out of show biz. You are  super intelligent, right? So you have to be wonderring, what is my game? Where do I start to SQUEEZE you little does of your BUCKS? WHY DO I DO THE WORK teaching show biz wannabe's to MARRY WELL while they can? During those few years of spectacular beauty?

Because I was a beauty a top actress and STUPID related to career and absolutely uncontrollable in love with unworthy men, time and time again. ARTISTS who were bisexual. GUITARISTS who were indigent. Used to women throwing themselves at them. SPANIARDS who would never pay child support or alimony yet I married them, got beat up, ahd to yank my kids out, drive back to USA and live in fear of kidnapping.  Rich, married screenwriter who'd had fifty yrs in hollywood to learn its weird ways, who toyed with me over thirty years, politely, so politely I couldn't see that hundreds of women were with him on other days and nights.

I raised four kids doing astrology here in Hollywood, 15$ an hr, maybe got four clients a month. Now it's 25$ an hour, because working is a moot point. I had two vices that caused me to move to the valley. NO CLIENTS in the valley. THe vices: my dear kittie cats who need huge, fenced gardens. And I like gardening, I need huge gardens. IN the valley, 8000 square feet of house, fenced yards, rent is 995$ a month, but clients? The valley is a barrio. LOTS of dear people who are learning ENGLISH but astrologer is not a word they've learned. One barely sees eke out a living. Luckily, I can daily go to the dumpster outside the market, yesterday 3 bell peppers, 3 hot peppers, l eggplant, last week, 6 dozen eggs, fed my thirty cats with those and I grow fruit and vegies.

BUt this felicitous circumstance has engender the most amazing situation. FOR THE FIRST TIME in my life, I have become interested in what happens to women during the latter part of their lives.  I was smart, look what happened to me. What will happen to the parade of sweet girls headed for L.A?.  I was a top TV and film star, It would say GUEST STARRING ANITA SANDS if I was on any t.v. hour drama. William Morris Agcy was my agent, biggest agent in show biz. I starred in my first film, Diary of a High School Bride, did Bonanza, Maverick, Dobie Gillis, all the tv shows, fantasy and fun but did not know reality and didn't have enough quarters of work to get Social SEcurity. Foreign husband, no SOcial SEcurity. Means no medical coverage. ANd I was IQ 180. Took me straight A's to get into UCLA theatre arts. Freshman yr, they tested 9000 freshman for a week, daily, all day, Picked 30 of us, told us we tested out as geniuses, gave us stack passes, vocat. counseling, said we should be in science. DUMMIE here quit school to act. AND SELF IMMOLATED

C'mon ! Get what I'm saying. YOU CAN become a billionaire's wife. IF YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL take the training!It's free. TRY to rein in that dumb part of yourself, that impetuous, hot, unfocused part. YOU DID NOT READ THE TEXT OF THE AD EVEN, see I know that, or even one chapter from LUCK IN LOVE, where I freely admit I AM NEARLY STARVING TODAY and for the years that I raised those four kids, we starved worse.

Yet I continued my dumb INTENSE LOVE HABITS during the 30 yrs I was sweetheart to the married screenwriter. There's a special room in Hell for writers as they all lie. This fellow never brought an apple to my house in thirty years NOT A GRAIN OF FOOD unless inadvertently thru one of mommy's doggie bags she brought home and stuffed in the fridge for the kiddies before I took him in my bedroom. I WAS HOOKED on this guy and never complained. Did you hear theone about the Polish starlet? She was so dumb she was #$%(#@ the WRITER!

SIGN ME IQ 180 and damn STUPID and very intensely focused on stopping all the other beauties on this planet from falling into the same snake pit of their own craziness. GET A GRIP!! STUDY YOGA as it reins in the crazed nature. What city are you in? There are KUNDALINI YOGA teachers in every city of the planet on the "teacher's list" that I have on file who can stop your chakras from running away from you like a stallion running for its stable. THE ID, Freud called it, which does a suicide run toward its favorite stimulants. HIGH DRAMA., HIGH ROMANCE,SEXUAL THROES. PASSION. There's a  reason the Greek root of the word passion is SUFFERING! As in the "Passion of the Christ." Yoga will put you ten feet above your body, permanently, spotting THE BODY's DUMB,FEVERISH, FUTILE GO NOWHERE trajectories before it can direct the course of your life.

Don't drag your kids, even if not born yet, into and thru this! GET A GRIP! SO ask me for the yoga teacher in your town! And STUDY THE "ATLAS" CONCEPT about picking a new city! Auntie Anita