HOW TO HIDE YOUR WEALTH
Hiding Money: Hidey Holes! Secret hiding places!
HIDE your rolex and diamonds in the Junction Box . A prime Stash Spot ! The Idea came from EMILY BAEHR of the now lost to posterity "PENNY PINCHER BLOG" Emily said: I found this cool idea: The Junction Box Stash Spot. A box on the wall, next to the floor, with wires going in and out. Genius. Important that for extra authenticity, you make one of the wires crawl along the floor joists for a while and then tuck it behind another wire.
If you don't want to take a chance with possible deadbeat roommates, or
if you have a financial second life, have your financial docs sent to a
PO box. Don't worry about getting a bill for the PO box. The bill for
the PO box is sent to the PO box itself.
The best place to hide cash money and small items from roommates, nosy
guests, burglars etc. if you are a little handy, is somewhere that looks
like part of the house, like a fake outlet, a place a little ways down a
heat register (tape envelope to wall of vent), under a loose stair tread
(or vertical board on stairs), or the window or door trim. On wood
windows, there are these guides on the sides. If you take the trim off
that holds the window in (usually only held on by 2 or 3 thin finish
nails) you can get at the guides and sometimes you can take them apart
to get at the weights, for instance. You might be able to hide things in
there if they donít interfere with the weights.
You could hollow out a 2 or 3 inch deep trench in the top of your
bedroom (or any other) door, and (maybe) put a strip of wood across it
to hold stuff in. Use a paddle bit or router.
The back of a closet could be re-framed in and a second wall installed
over top of the first one, leaving a semi-permanent storage space
between the two walls. Or you could put cedar paneling, which if you're
clever about it could be removable, hinged with a hidden hinge and maybe
a magnetic latch, etc.
If you canít or don't want to get any piece of house trim off, then use
or alter a piece of furniture into a hidey hole. Not under a mattress or
cushion or your drawers. Those are the first place a burglar would look.
You need to get more creative than that. You could remove the lining
from under an upholstered chair and stash something in the springs and
replace the lining with Velcro dots or staples (get a staple hammer for
$12 itís easier than a staple gun). Often, though, this lining is
semi-transparent. You could take apart a framed picture and hide
documents or small amounts of cash inside it. If your curtains have a
lining you can pin a small baggie between the layers high up near the
rod. This is a good quickie hidey hole in a hotel room where you donít
want the cleaning staff stealing your stuff.
If you sew, you could make or alter a teddy bear or a pillow and put
stuff in it in the middle of the stuffing. Sew it completely shut. You
donít want people looking at it and seeing a gap, and you want it to
look professional. The more permanent it is the better. You also donít
want whatever it is you are hiding to rustle or make a really hard lump.
The exception might be one of those talking stuffed animals, where maybe
you could hide something hard next to or in place of the voice box. Your
danger here is if in your absence your cat barfs on it and someone
throws it out or washes it, or if your small child decides to take your
toy and play with it outside.
A good place might be a piece of furniture that has tubes, like a futon
frame or plastic shelves.
If you have questionable visitors or roommates itís best to not put your
money in anything that is pawnable like computer equipment or that they
might nick like cigarette boxes. Instead, hide it in worthless looking
things. Maybe under your Odor-Eaters, or if you are good with a needle
and thread, make pockets inside your hat or coat sleeves or lining.
Attach them only to seams so there is no pocket-shaped area of stitches.
I heard of someone hiding cash under the shreddings in their shredder
bin. I dunno, if you have a neatnik spouse you could find it thrown out.
(Then there was that stupid politician who was caught shredding his
dirty money. Don't be him.)
If you are extremely handy and you need a semi-permanent hiding place
for something small and nonperishable (gold perhaps), you can take up
your toilet. There is dead space inside under the base of the toilet
between the outside and the part that goes into the sewer line. The
annoying part is you will have to reseat it afterwards with a new wax
ring and maybe caulk, and this may be noticeable if youíre not
reasonably good at it. The biggest danger is your toilet will leak or
get clogged one day. Then perhaps your unsuspecting roommate or spouse
while you're at work will call the plumber who will find your gold
There is always dead space under your bathtub if it is the kind that
goes all the way to the floor. If you are lucky you will have a trap
door that attaches with screws instead of finished drywall; however, any
kind of trap door is accessible by other people as well as by you.
There are many dead-space places inside appliances like the bases of
lamps, the vacuum cleaner, clothes washer, etc. but you might need to
get time to disassemble them unobserved. Any time you do this you have
to take into account the possibility that your spouse or roommate might
break the appliance and throw it out or have the serviceman come out, or
that you might break it and have to account for its humpty dumpty
condition, so be careful.
Plates over switches and outlets might also work in places like a public
bathroom with one seat, where you can lock the door and remove the
outlet or light switch plate with a screwdriver. So you could even hide
stuff at a gas station bathroom or something, unless you think they
might renovate it.
Also speaking of tubes, if you can find a chain-link fence with posts,
the tops of those posts sometimes come off and you can hide things down
those tubes if you can get away with doing so unnoticed. This is also a
good place to leave messages for someone else, and such a
message-leaving place is called a ďdead dropĒ.
Another use for a metal fence is this: Take a PVC pipe. Fill it with
silver coins, or whatever metal. Put caps on the ends. I would glue it
shut with that PVC plumbing glue to make it airtight, but the advice I
saw also said to heat it up a bit first, to drive out moisture so your
silver doesn't corrode. Bury it about 3 feet deep next to a metal fence
and plant a bush over it so you remember where it is. The metal fence
will foil any metal detectors. In addition, you could bury hunks of
scrap metal (old car parts?) here and there in your yard. That would
keep any jerk with a metal detector busy for a while finding worthless
If you can get the trim off the baseboards of your kitchen cabinets,
there is a lot of space under there. You could hide large amounts of
money, guns, jewels, or coins; or just an overnight bag for the quick
getaway. Be careful though: do not store paper money where mice might
go. More people have lost their nest egg to a mouse nest. A best bet to
keep the mice away from your stash is to store it in metal boxes. You
could use a metal briefcase or any sort of other metal tin or box. Or
maybe a PVC pipe like I described above.
If you can get the sheet metal of your heat vent detached so you can get
into the space of the wall or floor outside the vent and then reattach
the vent, that would make a great place to hide stuff you donít need to
get at often. Sometimes they are just screwed or nailed in.
Sometimes old houses have dead space in them, especially in the attic.
You have to pay attention to the layout of rooms and walls.
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