A dozen ways the Geriatric gets a Valentine from GOD!


As an oldster, many SORROWS come to our door. Mates die or leave. Money dies AND leaves! We who have never worked in our lives, raising children as single parents in the hippie sixties have no social security so we may clean your kitchen but we barely have the rent money, so often we have to eat brown rice and water plus any groceries that you might give us. Your gift is so heart-inspiring for both of us.

We have no car registration/ insurance/ gas money so we are on foot. Great exercise. POVERTY is lucky, at least in America. I tell my elderly pals, hey it's really a valentine from God if you knew it! Get down on your knees and say thank you! Let your head do the 180 that makes the horrific look lucky! HOW? WHY? The Universe has given you a DOZEN LUCKY kisses if you're OLD! 

12). PLURAL LIFETIMES! Sure you've been thru some bad stuff but you have a dozen lifetimes more scheduled for this millenium, although last millenium I only have had three that I saw, this is the third for me. At hands of old man guru, Gabriel Green, in a group where he did one person at a time, I saw MY past lives like a tv show in third eye. I was being regressed, and the loss of my many little kids, in 1300's (I died in childbirth with last kid) taught me why I have "mommy madness" in this lifetime. Cat mommy madness too. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE MORE LIFETIMES. (Read that article, click on it, then come back) So the golden ring of being a winner is still available to you! So what's one little betrayal in this lifetime? Not a dealbreaker. You're IMMORTAL! 

11). BILLS PAID! You are paying off old, last lifetime karma with that betrayal by the mate, BF, GF, son, daughter, your parents or whatever. For me it's all of the above who do not talk to me on my birthday or Xmas. But hey, maybe I was a betrayin' person once. By paying karma now, I got that old stump outta the roadside! You do it by getting screwed/ slapped  -- this lifetime. Pain gives you a chance to ponder the sting of betrayal and neglect! Youll think twice before you do that to a loved one, next lifetime. So this is UNIVERSE CLEAN UP and you were the piece of trash that got cleaned up. Only next time you get to be lilly white and start afresh, maybe with a hand full of Aces! 

10). TRIPPING TIME! The Hindus swear that the years near end of life are the "holyman years" of each of us. Over there, once thekids are raised, and the grandkids baby sat, the elderly couple will walk out on the family, become wandering saddhus with a begging cup. Hey, that's as analgous to SSI as anything I ever heard of. So we have it here too! So if times are hard, get a satchel, blanket, cup, bowl and start walking! You think cops are going to arrest some geriatric with all his tostadas intact, who can quote the Bhagvad Gita or Schopenhauer? NEVERHAPPEN. And quelle adventure!

9.) ADVENTURES WITH KIDS! Let's face it, in this country, arriving at 65 gets you some serious dole money. Free med-i-care, too. Very little co-pay. If you start to eat a lot of raw salads, olive oil, garlic, you could live another hundred years! They do in Hunzaland. And do it at the state's expense! Makes the golden years VERITABLY GOLDEN, ya know what I mean? Rent a big house, give yuppies and students their own room (for 700$ a month, w. kitchen privileges) and oh boy is that a sitcom! "Lula's place" Have fun with
your sunset yrs. Take risks! Take in ROOMERS! 

8.) EVEN YOUR OWN KIDS! There's something wonderful about kids. How they salute the old man or old woman if you don't give them a chance to betray or say nay. So here's the deal. When you have these big revenues from roomies, FLY to the kid's new location, show up on their doorstep with a sleeping bag and backroll and no money at all, just the return air ticket, and try for a FEATURE SCRIPT event lasting a few weeks. I see Adam Sandler MOVIE written all over it. It's called MOM's SURPRISE VACATION. God gives you the stripes to do that. You earned that fruit salad on your shoulder raising the little creeps, so now use that currency. Your kids chose neat cities to live in so this beats a credit card at the SHERATON! They have to vacate some corner and give it to you, and watch you teach the new mate how to make your famous stuffed cabbage or chile rellenos and smile and say thanks Ma while you do it! AHHH REVENGE IS SWEET. But never once lose the posture that you're doing them a huge favor, also that it's jest humble l'il YOU! This fine line can only be walked by a geriatric with brass balls and only if you don't give them any warning ahead of time, cuz kids are cunning. Oh will they have reasons you can't come NOW.

7.) PATHETIC PARENT! (hehe, at last!) God was kindest when he gave you hair that falls out, leaving bald spots, teeth that will also fall out, joints so swollen they kind of cripple your walk a little. Babe? I loves ya but ya look PATHETIC! So watching you hobble around their flat is a real heart opener for your kids. They never ever felt PITY for you. They felt fear. Resentment, often EMBARASSMENT, but never heart love! So your vacation with them is like a refresher course for the kids. They go from snide tyrants, anal paranoids to heart blooming caring little puppies. This is the parent's full circle because they were that way when they were in the crib. Little open faces, staring up at you with love? Well now they're staring down at you with the same love. FULL CIRCLE babe. Enjoy it. God gave it to you. It's his valentine to YOU. And yours to the kids because you retrieve them from being the little monsters they were before you walked in their life again. Isnt' that what valentine's day is really about? 

6.) I've FALLEN AND I CAN'T GET UP! When you get old, you can't reach your arms up, and hold them there to brush/comb hair. (Frankly, MINE is all tangles, requiring frequent wads being cut out. ) You can't bend down, cut toenails anymore. So someone gets a chance to repair their bad karma and do it for you -- whenever it needs doing. And you get beauty shop services for free! Whopee! Read GERIATRIC HELP about the amazing good karma a person gets when they help a helpless senior.

5) OINK OINKOLD AGE is when you get to eat out of your family's plate without their reaching into yours! (HAHA!)

4.) TENDRESSE! If you play this right, Love is what's in the room with you and the family if you stop talking, eating and just listen carefully and watch carefully. And tender in the sense of your own heart as grandchildren are the REAL apple of one's eye. Beats kids or BF's or husbands, lemme tell ya. So pack up a backpack, sleeping bag and fall in to their house real reg.

3.) TOURING THE COUNTRY -This Valentine gift from God should expand to create a circle of love. Include all the freaks you knew in high school. Call up a friend who you used to have problems with. Go try the backpack visit on them.

2) IMPROVING THE NEIGHBORHOOD BRATS, errr….KIDS.You can give ordinary little kids a chance to become Jesus. I'm reminded of a 4 year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly man who had just lost his wife. When the child saw the man cry, the little boy went over into the man's yard and climbed on top of the man's lap and just sat there. When the boy's mother asked him what he'd said to the neighbor, the little boy said "Nothing, I just helped him cry." SO waking compassion in some children?! That kind of opportunity does NOT come into a child's life often! You give them that event. The converse is also true. INSPIRING HORROR! There are a lot of little juvenile delinquent sociopaths out there. Hire yourself out as a rent-a-grampa to mentor and take the kid to visit the Morgue or pediatric cancer ward or jail. Scare them straight, Get them off junk foods, petty larceny, a habit of lip. That was Carlos Castaneda's idea. I read his chart once, horoscope.....spent several hours with him; he looked like Cesar Chavez or Desi Arnaz but with yellow sclera, pure black irises  and a hunch back. Ochre sclera means liver damage. That's what he died of.

1.) TIME IS MONEY!!! The last Valentine God gives the Geriatric? FREE TIME!!. You used to work 40 hr weeks, but hey, now that time's freed up! You can study this 'investing' thing and play the stock market with your kids' money! There is a super secret way to do that even if you're indigent. Call all the kids, say 'Mom has a big tooth infection, Doc says it could scar my heart. I  immediately need tooth pulled, need antibiotics after there's a hole in my jaw, total 100$' Then, each kid that sends the l00, start a stock acct in his name/yours both. The secret of making 30% per annum on that money is at http://home.earthlink.net/~astrology/invest.htm a newly rewritten article you'll want to save to cache as it's got 50 live links to the great teaching sites in CyberSpace. If you read that article and play with its URLS, live links, you'll see how even a mental creampuff can get a Warren Buffet Grasp on the entire stock thing! The info out there is amazing, then you've got the daily newspaper's Biz page, and library free copies of Fortune, Forbes, etc. And every magazine or News stand lets geriatrics page thru Wall Street Journal, etc while you take your daily fresh air. So you can run that money up in to a million. Then imagine the day the kid finds your bank account, or stock account, and a letter saying 'remember that pulled tooth that cost you l00$? Wasn't a tooth. It was a stock portfolio. Love Mom!" It makes me all ferklempt to think about it! Sniff! 

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