FEND OFF THE FEDERALES!!
Want a bag of tricks, some WILD and totally CANNY stunts to pull when The Federales come beatin' on your door --when the coppers are outside and all those ARMY BASES are filling up with activists in cages? Do what the WHITE ROSE SOCIETY WISHES they had done!!
1.) STUDY WITH EXPERTS! Screen flick "CONSPIRACY THEORY" with Mel Gibson and take notes. He rigged an ordinary apartment for a very ingenious escape. This is the most inspiring movie an activist can watch. Next, SCREEN "ENEMY OF THE STATE" as Gene Hackman had some great stuff. Now, all you have to do is buy yourself some time while they're beating down the door.
2.) BUY TIME! No use for those old florescent light bulbs? Brighten up, now they can be your watchdog. Just prop that old tube against the door at night. Or even one of those newer spiral "bulbs" will sit on a door knob.
When the guns SMASH THE DOOR IN, they will hear the POP and see the EXPLOSION (if you wire that lamp) and smell the mercury so they'll be running for the FEMA gas masks giving you plenty of time to jump into your Rocket Birdman Jet Pack and soar off above the tree tops with your suitcase of funny money, passport and ticket to Guadalajara.
3.) SUPERPOOCH! How do you spell relief? A four letter word. "ROTT." Not hard to feed one of these miseries of nature if you have an acre of land, all kinds of things crawl around in the dark. Possum, the other white meat. Snakes. Rotts aren't fussy; they will chase and KILL anything AND--- if they taste blood when they do --- continue to gnaw, chew, lick and wolf it all down. ERGO it's generally FREE TO FEED'EM and when you run out of wild life? They become even better and more motivated guard dogs. Best yet, they ultimately leave no trace of what came knocking. You burn the boots and knickers.
4.) Get a DOORMAT custom-made with words 'YOU BETTER HAVE A WARRANT" woven in, (this would be a great product by the way, make them in the Philippines, make a million.) & GET an IRON SCREEN DOOR, 60$ from contractor supply, 100$ at Home Depot with DOUBLE DEAD BOLT LOCKS. Nobody can penetrate those things. No ram can push thru it. Put on Kitchen, Back door too.
5.) THE RIGHT HOUSE IS A TIGHT HOUSE. Start at the street. LOCK THE FRONT GATE with a big padlock. Then, nobody can come down your walk to front porch. There is a 25$ battery operated DOOR BELL you can post out there with no wiring whatsoever. It sends an impulse which will ring the bell which is just inside your house. So you can hear them knocking but they can't come in. Then, Fence your front yard with CYCLONE FENCING, which is the cheapest stuff imaginable. If you sink those hollow steel poles yourself, stretch the cyclone wire, you're going to pay 60$ for the entire front of the property for hip high, little more for top of head high. Stuff looks lousy until you train vines on it, then you will have a unclimbable verdant wall. NOW, what might grow up cyclone fencing that is THORNY, cannot be graped, is very green and pretty with big flowers and nobody l would touch? CLIMBER ROSES and the CHINA VARIETY is the thorniest! BARE ROOT chinas are sold every SPRING for 4 bucks ea at HOME DEPOT. Plant one every 10 feet as they spread like mutha@&(*rs
6.) EYES (.) (.) ON THE FRONT OF THE HOUSE. Supposing your flowers grew, the fence is inpenetrable, you've got the padlock on the front gate. Of course, your best friend can't come in but they can ring up to the house and (if you're awake), you can actually see who it is. HOW? l LIGHT the gate area up and have a big sign saying "RING the BELL, PLEASE & SAY CHEESE. " See, Security Shops have nannycam Video Cameras, mikes for very little, This model is 69$ and there are sets at the RADIO SHACK with part of it feeding into the PC or you can have a small independent monitor for viewing, just a few bucks more. The image of your visitor feeds into your MONITOR/ PC and will allow you to see who & what is at your front gate. Other things you can add, a wire-pulled DUMP BUCKET full of freshly made fertilizer broth or garbage or dirt soup. Add taped sounds of bullets, The Dark Knight's Joker laughing endlessly. Or an actual JOKER SCARE CROW that laughs and wiggles a bottle of J&B or a grenade or both. HEY why not!? If you can freak a federale out, make him wet himself, you score big points.
7) THE "JERRY's BEST RATED" EXIT SYSTEM
First screen the movie CONSPIRACY THEORY with Mel Gibson and Julia Roberts. A TOTAL TRIP! HIS exit system is hot hot hot! And ya know, really it would be a simple fix ---even to a rented home. One of the cupboards in some room in the back needs a pass through. Look at the fake wall below. When the back wall falls into place after your departure, there should be a box of oatmeal, a few jars of red shiny stuff, maybe plums? on each shelf. Nobody's gonna try that baby for loose. Now, if you think that they don't know which house is yours from the backside, have an old junky car in the alley, fully gassed, with clothes, flashlight in the trunk. If you think they'll figure out your back alley, you need a tunnel into a neighbor's yard. By the time you hope a dozen fences, and by the time they get sniffer dogs, you'll have found your car up at Joe's garage where you pay him by the year to park CHECK THE "EXIT SYSTEM" URL on bottom of page. It's an ancient book full of graphics of escapes from old English manors. This system will also be useful in case of WWIII, RIOTS, URBAN CHAOS, gangs fiending during a famine, not just COPS. The trick is to rent a separate atelier room a walk's distance, like a mile away with no utilities, no phones in your name. You will sacrifice the belongings in the primary house although you can come back thru your pass thru and get whatever you need, for a week or two til the landlord notices you're gone.
Please feel free to pass this file on to your activist pals, & add your humorous and also accurate and true actual ways to FEND OFF THE FEDERALES!!
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EXIT SYSTEMS has files so secret that I cannot make it a live link! YOU CLICK /CUT / PASTE into browser!
Anything on this subject occurs to you, also related to getting out of the state into Mexico or Canada, I"ll publish your suggestions right here, shoot you back a copy. astrology care of earthlink.net is my addie
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