This net acquaintance EMILY (a yoga teacher,) wrote me "I was in a major car accident last month, My left femur was shattered and the ball top severed from the bone. They have pieced me back together and I can't walk on the leg for sometime. I just got home from the hospital June 17 after being there since May 27th -The orthopod put the lower half of my shattered femur back - piece by piece and a few were missing since it shattered so badly - I have about 25 screws and a metal plate around that half - it cracked through the joint in my knee, but so far it is healing and looks ok - the top half of my femur - well that's another story - the ball was severed completely off and they did emergency surgery to reconnect it to the bone, but if the blood supply doesn't continue or if it doesn't continue well enough I will have to have a hip replacement and after talking with her today the chances of that are quite high - won't be able to do anything about that until the lower half heals.

As far as the guy who hit us - the insurance company is working through the details and the lawyer who we had to hire since the his insurance basically said all we would get it $500 ( what an insult) - he is looking into if this guy has anything to sue for - I just want all the medical bills paid, time from work loss paid as well as suffering
(since my hubby has stage 4 cancer we don't know how much time he really has on earth at this point) and the fact that this creep should NEVER drive again. The way OHIO insurance is he probably either doesn't have anything or he has been in so many accidents that he only could get the minimum coverage - I hope he has a condo in Florida or California because I am going to get it! Or a pension.

I am depressed and feel like I am a terrible burden on my family - my 72 yr old mom is here helping because I can't do a thing by myself - thus the feeling like I am a burden. I believe this was a sign that I need to move on and out of the state I live in, OHIO. In the last 6 months my son tried to take his life (he is ok now) and my husband was diagnosed with stage 4 colorectal cancer, he too is doing ok - had surgery to remove the nasty tumor and now he has colostomy bags for both his urine and feces and is currently getting chemo again in hopes they got it all- then the accident - someone is trying to tell me something! In any case thinking West would be best because of the anticipated arthritis that the docs say will be inevitable - do you have any suggestions on where in California would be a good place to land? I am too young to retire, my hubby is too and with his cancer I am not sure how we could even pull it off since both of us are going to need medical coverage." I wrote her back said CALIF stinks, move to north west GEORGIA!

But frankly, her story was scary and I was shocked and couldn't get it out of my mind. Something was nagging at me. I went and sat in a very hot tub of water and pondered it all. Suddenly  I realized that such a horrible story fitted the astrological line up on this day that I received it.  We have SIX PLANETS LINKED WTIH the MOON (three of them malefics.) The aspect hit this morning, so it's a past aspect. Meaning it already occured, which it had. To get so many planets linked is rare. Only a few times a decade. And when three malefics are in the mix, aspecting one another tightly as we have today shows horrors. Like IRAQ for last few days has been brutal. Mars/Saturn/Pluto linked in 9 fixed or 24 mutables, last week and this means total amputation of limbs, death, violence, the horrors of war.

However involved there at the center of aspect is kindly, wise CHIRON in 9 Aquarius, planet or asteroid really, of teaching the wisdom or passing it on as CHIRON is 'THE WOUNDED HEALER" and JUPITER 9 SCORPIO semisquare PLUTO is the JUP/PLUT element of FAME AND POWER, so you could say "wounded healer gains fame and power" so OUT OF NOWHERE today it dawned on me that there's a book in THE HORRORS around Emily and I should tell her about that.

TODAY I got several emails and phone messages about HORRORS. And Newstories all over the Internet and newsppaers. But the worst was Emily with an  auto accident ruined knee and hip, splitting bones into many fragments, she's in maxi pain, horrific, dependent immobility....a REAL LIFE HORROR. She's a super bright gal, yoga teacher, very physical as well as spiritual. BUT NOW THE PHYSICAL part has ended! Abruptly! How does one quilt up the torn pieces?

SO I'm thinking of horrors befallen HER and also MY own litle granddaughter Ayanna, quadriplegic,  and the sorrows of my family of which I am a loose custodian as they all move so damn far from me, so horrors struck with a granddaughter and this grannie wasn't there to prevent.... and I think what if the crippled people were motivated somehow by a book to go on to greatness. Bodies aren't everything right? Somehow motivated to do miracles? Even if it's just INTERET CYBER GREATNESS, SCHWEITZER OR GANDHI with a  KEYBOARD! Cuz if you cannot move, you sure have time to do a lot of stuff MOST MOVING PEOPLE WILL NEVER DO!!!

SO I think of what happens when MIDLIFE, you're struck half down. And doing great things with what's left of your body, I think of a title, 'DOWN BUT NOT OUT!" And think that twelve writers twelve chapters you have a saleable product that YOUNG CRIPPLES will read and which can inspire them. YOU DO NOT NEED MOVEMENT TO MATTER! This is a book for folks with real horrors who will see they may be down but they are not out.

COMMERCIAL VIABILITY is that so many of us have pals coming out of hospitals barely wired together, paralyzed on motorcycles, or from car accidents, from the war in IRAQ, it should have its audience, no? I'd give it to my granddaughter Ayanna  to get her thru the pain of growing up so 'dented.'

I thought, why not you and me collect stories for a book 'DOWN BUT NOT OUT" We collect stories of paralyzed and /or permanently handicapped ADULTS who went on to do wonders for the world with .......say.....writing or teaching. We do it in second person. WE could even do STEVEN HAWKING as he's a good story even if not one of the writers. Since his life is in PUBLIC DOMAIN being famous, he does not
have to get paid. He's like an example of someone who persevered as he has a passion for exploration and a wheelchair didn't keep him from exploring physics.

BUT when it's one of us, one of the other chapters the person whohad the experience and persvered in greatness has to write it second person. i.e yoga teacher pal "Emily was a sport oriented child. She grew up in a town where being sportif really mattered. Her father ...(fill it in.)  She learned to run and she ran fast, she had long strong legs. Later, in highschool, she played volleyball well. As a young woman, she became interested in X. and pursued this getting a degree in...... then she found yoga. It gave her earnings ...x. ( on and on_ )

I think we should WRITE IN THE SECOND PERSON as FIRST PERSON WRITING is disturbing to readers on many levels.  When a reader suspects that the writer IS the work, or is TOO CLOSE to the work, they get uncomfortable. A.) they suspect that the reportage is subjective i.e. favoring the subject, and b.) that much was left out. Truth couldn't or WOULDN'T BE TOLD!

WHEN all the writing is celestial, as from a divine perspective....and all truth is given, folks relax. They know that they are getting the whole story. NOBODY believes the first person writer is telling the entire story unless they go overboard in detail, scabrious, horrific etc.

A THIRD PERSON NARRATOR is best. OK we find a dozen families with a quadriplegic (I have one in mine,) or someone whom disease ravaged....and show what they did with the leftover part. Myself, I have been dogged with a tired heart death sentence due to come around age 30. So I designed a life around a heart malady, went on tofu and veganism for years, then no sat-fats but a little meat  and made it to age 65. Not able to run around the world much or work a reg job, can't sit up for long periods, I got fired from my only job attempt, a psychic phone room --fired for lying on the floor taking readings horizontal! Well, I started internet teaching. Freebie work. Type up teaching articles, FTP them to website. Then do ads so CRAIGS LIST readers spot them and read "HOW TO MAKE A MILLION with A COTTAGE INDUSTRY, GUERILLA CAPITALISM, which is what I'd done to support four babies with no alimony. So I myself might qualify......THE CHAPTER CALLED ANITA would go:  "her doctor told her early in life, that with that heart, she should never have children. OPEN HEART surgery yes, but no kids. Dodging suffocation, faintness, and outright fainting, she had four children. Her Mexican doctor said, do not leave your Mexican husband, You will not be able to survive with four children, alone back in the USA. She returned to US and raised them alone. etc. " Get a little in there about internet, cottage industries, how trickle down in a big city....whatever.

MY POINT IS, we write each chapter each of the 12 crippled people getting one chapter, but we write in second person or is it called third person omniscent? Not sure, never finished college, myself!

THEN at the end of each chapter's tragedy, how this person decided to use his entire life to do something if not great like Dr. Alfred Schweitzer who let a fab practice in Germany to heal leapers in Africa... then at least USEFUL.

EACH of the chapter subjects signs on to write his share, print it out, an maybe even submit the entire work to book corps. Cuz babe, submitting is a bitch. Talk printing, talk stamps, talk xeroxing!! I write about how to sell a book,, how to QUERY a publishing corp.

VIABILITY OF THEME: I FEEL there's nothing like it. "DOWN BUT NOT OUT" will be a best seller. Initial payment from book publisher is like 40k,it's called an advance. If best seller, it's 100's of ks. Annually, while it goes to translations, up to 60 booksales internatl. Translations to all languages. Magazine rights. Huge huge money in them thar hills. When they make the film, another million. And book tours are fun. Top hotels, all expenses paid.

You don't have that physical problem but maybe you know an elderly person who supra-vened such bad luck? You wouldn't have to write it, they would. You get a 10% of their take agenting fee, however, for putting the deal together. Finding the crippled adult who survived and did wonderful things. And those who submit MS to publishers get l0% agenting fee, for their twelfth or if their submission sells it, l0% off entire deal, right? Some deal like that. We'd write it down, all sign it.

I sent that to my net regulars. One answered immediately. "WOW! that is some perspective on tragedy. I once had my 6th graders do a report on someone famous with a can find them on the web. just google "famous people with disabilities" and you'll get articles.

A PAL ANSWERED ME: "By all means, write about it Anita. you have your own story....I did not remember you telling me about your grandaughter....what a horror that must be to watch a child growing up without walking. How did it happen? the HMO CAPITATED THE BABY. KAISER did it to her. Age of four months she became a vegetable. The HMO said 'You sir and m'am were here last week, that's it for this month, we don't care that it's a concussion, get outta here." She's a vegetable ever since. Capitation a common HMO practice.)

My reader goes on "You are quite the idea person, who should be full of wealth from all the brilliant ideas you come up with. so why don't you write it? (NOTE: I could only write my own section on how bad doctors are. How inept. How money driven. How they don't listen. How they inya and outaya in fifteen minutes. I wrote up capitation which might make a chapter in a book but not an INSPIRING book.   A critical of the system book.

BY THE WAY after I put all this down. I WENT ONLINE and saw there's a book with that title "DOWN BUT NOT OUT" available for two bucks at ABEBOOKS.COM an online marketplace for used books. The words " BROKEN HEART" are the subtitle. 2$ at ABE BOOKS.