THE CHEAPIE* CHRISTMASHOW TO FEED A HUGE GROUP A FEAST FOR CHUMP CHANGE
or how to Micky Mouse an Xmas Tree!
NOT THIS CHEAP! YOU WENT TOO FAR!
Mom, are we THIS POOR?With four children, no daddy, you price check! For the third month in a row, I noticed that a quart of yogurt and a dozen eggs had leapt at least 50% in price. OVERNIGHT. No more 99c dozen eggs, no more $1.99 for a 32 oz Greek or Hindu non-brand name yogurt. I google "inflation",+ "food prices" expecting to read 50% food inflation and I am handed actual GOVERNMENT figures claiming that FOOD PRICES had gone down a bit in the last three months, which I knew was a lie. They were claiming Inflation was being held off!
Oh, they LIE LIKE A RUG. What else do you expect to come out of Mendacington D.C? Get real, America! It's Christmas and my Social Security & Disability combined yield up a hefty 500$ a month which only covers half the rent, none of the food the kids, me and the cats need. HEAP contributes ZIP for heat and light which a senior dearly needs. There goes my plan to plug in a space heater at night and bake cookies, get a small fir tree and light the porch light.
Sadly, I google "Remedies, frugal, cheap Christmas" and lo and behold, I get some actual Frugal Inspiration, an old L.A. Times article: "At first glance, it looks like a Christmas tree, it climbs to the ceiling but wait, all those heavily decorated branches are from different trees, and they're only nailed to a board. Somebody just saved themselves 35$ "
From an online newspaper archive: "A symbol of Christmas reinvented" Getting the holiday tree together? Here's how it it used to be done in FLUSH TIMES. Mom drives big SUV gas eater to the mega costly storage locker and exhumes cartons of ornaments exported by countries that put Santa's workshop out of business a decade ago. Dad drives a Tahoe to Home Depot, pays five bills and ropes an 8-foot pine to the roof. Back home, they drag the thing into the house, shove it to the front window, load on the glitter, string up the garland and plug in the twinklers that light up the room and the neighborhood. Then string a dozen lights on front of house with a big costly glitter reindeer and sleigh, plug that wiring in for another 100$ a month utility fees and SHAZAMMM! It's Christmas magic again. But is it? Has a medieval symbol of the tree of life flourishing in the garden of Eden morphed into the spoils of environmental pillage glittering in a garden of secular consumption?
Maybe it's time to imagine a tree reflecting a dynamic 21st century. Here's one invented by a smart, conscientious FRUGAL family. With Christmas decoration and gasoline in short supply, our modest citizen and his wife picked up branches in backyards and along back roads in L.A. At their modest ranch house, paneled with knotty pine, they attached a board to the living room wall. They nailed boughs to the plank, long branches at the bottom, short at the top. A string of lights, some colored balls and metal tinsel, easily stored in the attic closet, completed the half-a-tree vignette. On Christmas Day, the frugal family gathered around their 7-foot spruce. It had been designed, not grown. It was biodegradable, consumed no water and required little space. It was appropriate for the lean and mean post-bankster plunder times and was a symbol of Christian values, Buddhist acceptance and Taoist FLOW, along with artistic creativity, problem solving, good citizenship, ecological principles and personal sacrifice for the greater good.
And when it came time to take it down? There were two nail holes in the wall that needed putty which they hung photos of their glorious Christmas gatherings on. So, gang? Reinvent the holiday tree as a symbol of a pliant, wise, roll up your sleeves attitudes in recessionary America. Invite the whole neighborhood in to see your creation. Now if we could just figure a way to Mickey Mouse an egg nog ---
HOW TO MICKY MOUSE COSTLY LOOKING CHRISTMAS GIFTS
FRUGAL DESIGNS FOR PARTIES
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