A single woman searching for a mate and failing at every turn, wrote me, "I feel like the message I was to recieve (sic) from you was basically that I need to just be love and the laws of the universe will do the rest."
I wrote back 'RECEIVE' is an interesting word. IT DOES NOT OBEY THE LAW OF GRAMMAR which is " I. before E" "RECEIVE" DISOBEYS that familiar law. Here is another law you must disobey. THE LAW OF LOVE. YOU CANNOT indiscriminately love people of small worth unconditionally, and embrace them and take them to your heart and bed. Happiness isn't passed on that way but LEPROSY is. AIDS is. Syphilis is. Bird flu is. BE very CAUTIOUS whom you let into your embrace...out of all the people that you will love.
The girl went on babbling how she can't stop herself, she's a goner, she loves him so, she will never love again like this. Now, she's a sophisticated but dumb cluck thirty five year old gal in NYC who began telling me how she's madly in love with this witty, slender, elegant, tall, HUGH GRANT KIND OF GUY!
In her mind I can see her firepower being increased by the fact that she's never met such a HUGH GRANT LOOK ALIKE in her life and she wants to possess him, and own that luster. She also can't face the fact she may not be the fork to his spoon and he most probably will move on.
So end result; She's in agony because he turned her down flat when she asked him out on a first date to drink Spanish wine and eat Tapas. I advised her to see his faults. She said his faults are kinky ones. She's heard he likes three ways with guys along. Then she began discussing how she was even willing to be dragged down THAT useless primrose path just to attract his interest.
He sure isn't committed to HER or interested when she asks him out. HER INDISCRIMINATE LOVE of this posh, blue blood, boarding school sophisticate is capable of RUINING HER LIFE. I am reminded of Lovely Liz Hurley who loved the Bing Billionaire with all the Bling and her clock was ticking but Bing dumped her when she got preggars, now her son Demian will have a hole in his life as Poppa won't come near. Same deal with the New Yorker girl who has no time to lose. She has to get her butt married or spend the rest of her life dressing saints, as they say in Mexico. That refers to spinsters who sew all the cotton robes for statutes in the church.
So, obey the law of love all by itself? NOT A GOOD THING. We have to smile at everybody, wave, give them a centavo of loving LISTENING but bottom line, when it comes to the close embrace, use utmost DISCRIMINATION. If I had my druthers, I'd embrace Sees chocolate bonbons, Dove bars, Tubs of Vanilla bean ice cream, enchiladas, tacos, chorizo, carnitas, slather butter on everything carby, bread and popcorn and potatoes...those are MY DRUTHERS.. My raisins/ dates with a tablespoon of peanut butter is some serious 'making do' but one makes do as one believes she will live longer, stave cellulite away longer and in my case, extend my life so I can finish about TWENTY FIVE NOVELS I've got half worked out. You may also have some wonderful MISSION or work to do. So don't go and succumb to what you LOVE, as that tires us out. Our mission requires discipline, focus, HEALTH.
CONTROL the erotic impulses of the various holes of the body. That is what makes a woman holy. The urge to speak, nag, scream, criticize or EAT, the vices of the mouth which make ladies love nibbling like a goat, 15 meals a day or clucking like a hen on a cell fone. Control the erotic impulses of the heart which make good women fascinated with BAD MEN! Authors of Films, theatrical plays, ballads and poetry know that all tragic people are different, ergo interesting. All happy, saintly people are alike and kind of boring. They sit whittling on the porch; They cook up a meal and serve it. They go to work, come home and kiss their kids. YAWN.
Some guy who wants three-ways is weird, kinky and the mind just loves that kind of ABERRANT thing which seems so fascinating, interesting. Have you ever seen those girls who write prisoners, fall in love with serial killers and murderers in prisons? Scaffold Hildas I call'em. Happens all the time. Gals have that dimwitty side to them. Know it and watch out for it. Especially in yourself. Cuz there's some crazy little voice that says, all he needed was my love and he'll change.
He won't. The sad thing is that you might, turning from a happy girl with multiple possibilities to a sad one with multiple PERSONALITIES and NO POSSIBILITIES! A girl who GOT CARRIED AWAY.......
Ah God, I must be madly in
love to feel like this.
And love must be a heavenly
angel whom I should follow!
Voices: Yes, follow,
follow, follow, follow, follow, follow.............
And that brings us to the final warning. Freud alleged that all humankind was cursed with deathwish, thanatos, he called it. We become intoxicated with death dealing people or things. We smoke cigarettes that we know are killing us, eat lard fried chips, do drugs, booze, sugar, cokes. Mountain climb, run after bulls in Pamplona. And we love our kinky sweethearts fanatically and when they jilt us, we love them suicidally. Failed love affairs account for as many suicides as terminal Cancer. Thantaos even without suicide is slow death. It's translates into permanently reckless driving on the highway of life, where this disappointed character is just tempting the fates to end it all for him or her....which unconsciously, he will welcome. Of course it's all subconscious but when you consider that 80% of the mind is in the unconscious. Only 20% is conscious. It behooves us to learn what death-attracted demons live within us. There are ways to plumb the unconscious. Seek them out.
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