As we
Fairy Godmother types get to age 65 it hits us:
jeez, I should have married the right guy. Yeah, we should have had a V-8!
The man we chose was a life stopper. He didn't want kids, he didn't take
care of his children once they came. He didn't revere us,
so he cheated. He didn't really respect his sweetheart or wife so he lied
like a rug about what had him out of the house. He used us as a brood mare,
housekeeper, occasional lay and built his castle of dreams elsewhere. But
we were so dumb, we stood by our man. When the 'getting out was good' what
stopped us? (By the way, this isn't written for 65 year old ladies who
already made the mistake, it is a distillation of the wisdom available
in this area of thought for you young ones! So you won't make the mistake
in the future. So read on!)
I'll tell you what it is that yanked us into the path of a WRONG MAN and will do so in time to you, girls. It is the sheer intensity of the adoration for him which grabs hold of you like a fist, possesses you, makes all your decisions for you until you believe that THAT SWEETIE was sent by GOD, CHRIST and MOSES no matter that the universe is continually showing you otherwise or TRYING TO TALK YOU OUT OF HIM.
Your focus to YOU feels so sacred that it's quasi religious. When rational minds, yours or those of others,' tell you otherwise, you feel that you have to stick to your Godly Guns and be his heaven sent squaw. No matter what reasonable, clearly phrased voices of reason warn you away and tell you otherwise, you tune them out. You forget the fact that GOD talks to you thru relatives and friends as he cannot use Burning Bushes ---not in the big city.
Sweetheart, when you get to be 65, you will wish you listened to those voices as here is the future. You will find yourself alone, no income, no widow's pension coming, (which any wife gets after l0 yrs solid of marriage, receiving it the day he passes ---) You'll be strapped to life's painful hamster wheel, find yourself working grimy jobs for pennies, your kids rejecting you by moving to other cities as you gave them a childhood of terror, teens that were perilous and young adulthood that was sad. To them, Mummy is forever a tragic character and unconsciously they want to put as many miles between you and them as possible.
Too late, the tragic passionate woman wishes that she could change those passionate feelings she had for that wastral hot hunk, change those skewed peceptions, erase and rewrite that choice, edit that past, that flagrant youth. Too late she wishes she had not strayed so close to the cliff edge of inappropriate love. A cliff edge only a lemming would chose to hurl herself off of....but you did it like a skyscraper diver with no chute.
This lemming thing is big on my mind today as I look around me at my astrology clients, burdened with sorrows, guilt, poverty, children from mates who have disappeared, households that have fallen apart.. HOW can a passionate girl 'pass' on the entire event, I mean --how to escape it, how to extricate yourself from the allure, the inexorable PULL of the adoration for/of the WRONG MAN!
Well I am going to tell you how, ladies. There are TEN wonderful, magic rules that a Fairy Godmother can give to the average Cinderella which work miraculously at keeping her from her APPOINTMENT IN SAMARRA* with the WRONG MAN. ("The Appointment in Samarra" (is a novel, by JOHN O' HARA but the myth the title came from was retold by W. Somerset Maugham [pub.1933]) The speaker is Death "There was a merchant in Bagdad who sent his servant to market to buy provisions and in a little while the servant came back, white and trembling, and said, Master, just now when I was in the marketplace I was jostled by a woman in the crowd and when I turned I saw it was Death that jostled me. She looked at me and made a threatening gesture, now, lend me your horse, and I will ride away from this city and avoid my fate. I will go to Samarra and there Death will not find me. The merchant lent him his horse, and the servant mounted it, and he dug his spurs in its flanks and as fast as the horse could gallop he went. Then the merchant went down to the marketplace and he saw me (Death,) standing in the crowd and he came to me and said, Why did you make a threating getsture to my servant when you saw him this morning? That was not a threatening gesture, I said, it was only a start of surprise. I was astonished to see him in Bagdad, for I had an appointment with him tonight in Samarra."
To escape the appointment in Samarra that our passions will inexorably lead us to, a liason with the wrong man, there are magical rules made by us older, wiser fairy godmothers. These rules tend to work like a GOLDEN leash or rope so that even if you DO throw yourself off the cliff, you can't fall and get hurt. Your reason can always pull you back onto dry land.
1.) MIDNIGHT IS IT! The Fairy godmother
recommends
a TWELVE O CLOCK curfew.. When we girls are in love our hands develop magic.
we can do feats of effort and will sign up for classes, diet, exercise,
hit the gym, feats that we're unable to do at any other time.....unless....there
is a date SCHEDULED WITH THE GUY. In that case we dump all the good
things that we created in our lives.
OK, so as to hold yourself back from waiting by the phone every single week night, find every classroom, lecture and gal pal and make a DATE BOOK ENTRY "Supper with SUE" or Tues/ THurs is NIGHT SCHOOL at the Local HIGH SCHOOL ADULT NIGHT TIME CLASSES where the computer rooms from the daytime kids are handed over to adults for a SEMESTER at a time. You get Mon/Wed/Fri or Tues/ Thurs as your classroom choices. It's usually about 20$ a semester. I'm only here today as I took computers. Wish I'd taken website design!
2.) MEET ONLY CULTURED BRAINY GUYS -Another possibility, to meet other men, greater men, you go to the top bookstores in your city and shelf dip for four hours on every WEDNESDAY night. That is your commitment. You may end up buying the Cleveland Plains Dealer newspaper and nothing else, but you do it. SKIM the GREAT NON FICTION books for four hours. Free coffee and tea, often cookies. Make a list of books you'll buy a year from now on abe books when they're a buck each. (Click* on URL, you get secrets of how to order most inexpensively.)
Maybe you shp the sales on a week night every week but you make that 'busy schedule' and the rule for yourself to stick to it. Once you and Sue set up a MEETING for supper and a movie or a lecture you have to promise GOD that you will never create any thing, any appointment, any study, any going places.
That isn't what girls usually do when they love a man. They will keep everything off their schedule, sign up for no classes for an hour when he might call or appear.
TO GROW, to evolve, to progress, we must always do exactly the OPPOSITE of what the DESIRE mind wants. The whim mind. You would prefer to be home right next to the phone in case he calls. But now, the exact opposite is true. We are out seeing life, growing, studying.
You have to set up the movement, the growth, the expansion because when passion comes along, we are constrained, tied, imprisioned, the brain becomes as focused on that one PELLET as a CAGED RABBIT is on that DISH COMING INTO THE CAGE with the rabbit pellets in it. You want to set up an entire forest of possibilities for yourself, little rabbit girl, so that the big BUCK HARE can't chain you in a cage.
If it's too late, and you're already in love with some player, don't worry. ROMANCE gives POWER. It gives utter magic, huge will, the ability to diet, the ability to do any work, to create ART.....all these are signs of the AROUSED KUNDALINI, which the BEING IN LOVE STATE IS. USE IT. GO TO YOGA classes as that will take the energy and SEND it up to your THIRD EYE, giving you super powers. Or take your high aura to bookstore crawls where other men will see you, and for some reason be very attracted, as YOU ARE LOVE. Women in love are more attractive. Fact of science. ATTEND EXTENSION COURSE CLASSES for credit and of course you have to hit the book stores or libraries for shelf skimming, to do extra curricular reading for those lectures. Gal pals are a superb resource for nightime KULTURE CRAWLS. You two plan some post classroom/ or post - bookstore visits to dine at a pricey 4-star place, even if the two of you only eat salad. The men you meet there are top drawer. The two of you are staying OUT so the man you're intoxicated with cannot always find you home waiting.
How else does one steer between these shoals, these Romance Rocks to steer our little life boat toward success in marriage? HOW DO WE AVOID BEING A LOVE JUNKIE. How do we keep our MIND OFF the tantalizing sweet snack that may be put in the cage at any second when he calls wanting to 'stop by.'. Not wanting to turn our backs on him as much as needing to not be so available?
3.) UNDERSTAND the danger of passion. It will erode your reason, melt away everything you know in your life like a TSUNAMI. A lesser girl would cancel gym visits, cancel classes, bookstore crawling and sit by the phone. Her life will be eroded the way a wave crossed INDONESIA and took out millions of people in ten minutes.
Or, to make it closer to us geoographically. Katrina. KEEP THIS PICTURE IN MIND, THE CITY OF NEW ORLEANS UNDER WATER, the deluge, houses eroded, everything destroyed. THAT is what THE OCEAN can do when it rolls in on us. KEEP YOUR FEET ON DRY LAND. TAME THAT OCEAN wave. BUILD YOUR DYKES to keep your land dry. (in Holland they build stone dykes to keep the ocean out. Holland is called the lowlands or Netherlands for a reason.) THAT stone DYKE is a firm schedule. And guess whom it's for. YOU AND HIM. It will slow you down, make sure you have time to see his faults.
A busy life on your part trains him that HE can't be calling at any time or coming by at any time. Or if he does, he cannot find you home! You only accept calls x to y because you have to study, be at night school, be in day school, work, etc. Because of your job.
4.) LOSE THE CELL PHONE! DO YOU USE A CELL? See a guy thinks he can intrude in your life at any damn time as you carry a phone full time. DITCH THE CELL. It shows you're a love junkie!
YOU DO NOT NEED A CELL 24/7. besides fact the results are not in about damage to brain cells with ultra sonic transmissions blasting your IQ.....you aren't BILL GATES. He needs a cell. You can pick up your messages at home once a day off an old thrift store message machine, or the PHONE CO. charges 9$ a month for a msg service... computerized, inside their AT &T offices....THIS IS YOUR wall, your stone DYKE to keep the tsunami of passion OUT.
5.) SEEK NATURE BOYS OUT IN NATURE - Now, when you want, you can carry your picnic basket to the beach and swim, surf, frolic, him and you. You 'show him a good time,' what fun it is to cast your hooks into the waves, standing in the surf and catch corbina and sea bass. Unique stuff that you know how to do. You know because you visited the beach with SUE a lot of times, brought a surf rod, reel and went to exactly the beaches where other SURF FISHERMEN went. And you know because that cute little BAIT SHOP on the shore told you where to go! You met other fishermen. YOu learned from them. YOU KNOW STUFF cuz you are smart enough to investigate the joyous games that exist on our planet. Like used books from ABES, like LECTURES that are advertised on the bulletin board at the spiritual book store, in LA that would be the BODHI TREE.
These are enthralling subjects for enquiry and if you pay attention, your HIGHER MIND will kick in and you'll focus with enthusiasm. It has to be an enthusiasm-producing activity as ROMANCE IS LIKE HEROIN. You go into bliss, dreamland but 4pm the next day the depression hits, the withdrawal from that bliss substance.
NOTHING satisfies, everything palls. Without him by your side, you will tend to be MOROSE. Mother Nature is testing your focus. IF YOU CAN be in romance, you can be in parenthood. they're very similar.
THE BABY that's coming, which MOTHER NATURE is setting up for optimum survival, requires that same focus, later when you and he have to take care of him. FOR A MAN AND WOMAN to enter into that hypnoid trance for courtship IS TESTING THE WATERS for PARENTHOOD for both of them. Nietzsche said that "without the pink stage lights of passion, man would never tread the stage of matrimony". THE SAME passion, adoration, for the infant will be next. COUNT ON IT. You want a mature man who can handle that change. A lot of petty men get very jealous and hate the child and juggle Mom for control.
So speaking of Nature, how do you play with mother nature, loll around the tempestuous beaches of love, commitment, sex and pregnancy when all you maybe want is a summer romance. THE ANSWER is, you can't. YOU ARE PLAYING with the OCEAN in all its grandeur, not the Pacific, not the Atlantic, THE MOTHER NATURE OCEAN which created us all.
You can't dodge her waves. She has artistry, poetry, stuff you never encountered in your entire damn life, well, maybe at the breast when MOM adored you and stroked your cheek while you sucked... MOTHER NATURE is loaded for bear. AND MAN and WOMAN...you will go down. You will succumb. The tsunami will cover your heads and you will be at NATURE's beck and call, whim, and her whim is that you CREATE NEW MORTALS. NEW HUMANS, NEW PEOPLE.
She's ruthless. No diaphragm can get in the way of her powers. She will make you forget it when you're most fertile. Can't outwile the lady. So whattareyagonna do, huh? You are going to obey the golden rules. To follow them is to be on your toes, on a tightrope, walking a straight line and that's what you must do if you want to be safe at this altitude.
6.) SHARE THE WEALTH. Date three
fellows, not one. Be open to seeing the greatness in NERD GUYS, older men,
SMARTER men, STRAIGHT, SOBER men. Not always HOT AND HUNKY.
PARSE OUT YOUR TIME to this group of men. Confine the romance
to hours you are not studying or working and set up
phone schedules that underscore that fact.
7.) GROW IN TEN DIRECTIONS. FORCE yourself to research, work, study, socialize with groups of people with study intent and put those activities in front of any dating or playing.
8.) DITCH THE CELL. Never be available all the time at instant reach and do not talk inordinate amts of time on a cell. The damn thing leaves you able to talk during lectures, social groups. You don't want that. You want to be curtained off from being available to HOT AND HUNKY. Put the money you save into USED BOOKS, into lumber to build a simple book shelf, floor to ceiling. And maybe into one, flossy dress for date nite with him, SATURDAY and a SUNDRESS, bathing suit or fishing outfit for SUNDAY. For DAYTIME getogethers where he can come by at your lunch hour and take you out for a quick meal, not a quickie. Remember, ROSS CLOTHING is better than PACBELL.
9.) STAND BY YOUR WORD, not YOUR MAN. Promise yourself that if guy #2 or guy #3 invites you out for Saturday nite, you will accept. You will NOT turn them down so you can be AVAILABLE if #1 calls. Now, if your HOT AND HUNKY FAVE calls, you'll state clearly that you are busy, you're seeing friends. If he begs on, tell him not to worry there's another Saturday nite free in 7 days. HE WILL THEN TELL YOU all the fab things u were going to do sat nite. Grab hold of a bible and ask Jesus and Mary to help you stick to your guns. DO NOT BREAK THE DATE with the other, lesser lover. PROMISE YOURSELF
10.) ENJOY YOUR NEW SIDDHIS! Siddhis is sanskrit for magical powers. You'll now get them because you have just gone and done what is NOT automatic for yourself. This high kundalini state, combined with YOGA to lift it into the third eye area, then that FOCUS, this WILL POWER ....all are creating a new center in your brain that you never had before. The efforts made will teach your inner juvenile delinquent to chill. You will be grabbing hold of your PASSION center and squeezing all the juice in it up to your third eye. Now you will start to have psychic vision, see what's really going on. And SEEING is above ALL! When that hot guy looks at you, he'll suddenly see that you see him. He'll know that you see through all his games, and he has to be straight with you. If he's not in it for marriage, a commitment, the two of you will come to an unspoken agreement called "BACK OFF." You will be protected from marrying the wrong man.
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