COME TO HOLLYWOOD??!! OH NO!!!
This YOUNG READER of mine who wrote me must be NUTS!
DEAR ANITA, it'll be so great to MEET YOU! I love your writing. I am half way thru HOW TO MARRY A BILLIONAIRE, the seventy chapters. ( I think there are more like l00 in the total LUCK IN LOVE SEMINAR) "And guess what! I may move to L.A.!! signed JENI!"
DEAR JENI! Whatever you do, don't move to Los Angeles. Beauty is wasted in Hollywood. Nobody appreciates good looking girls. There are too many of them here! My theory on that is that for l00 years ALL the beauties of this planet have been coming here, their grandaughters bred and now there is some kind of California super BABE here --- pneumatic, blown up gals with perfect skin, 20" waists, little upturned noses, mops of curly shiny hair, legs that go to their throat. EEEK! What's an ordinary gorgeous woman to do with them around?
And these girls were born knowing how to flirt. They are third generation MAN PLEASERS! Superhuman Amazon wonder women. NONE Of them appears to want to marry -- ergo they move thru society like a tidal wave of devil mollusks eating everything MANLY in their path, crunching it like so much cookie debris between their rolling teeth. ALL they want is careers. Do you know that axiom, "who do I have to #(*%& to get off this movie?" (It always gets a big laff on a movie set in L.A.) These girls are working that axiom backwards, which hasn't been done since the forties!
So you come here, you're up against them and they are the dominant species, super predominant, available, the reigning predatory critter in this town. So FERGETABOUT L.A. or HELL-A as I call it!
EVEN ASTROLOGERS like me have a hard time with these babes as they are ALL TITS AND TEETH and need nothing to rummage and plunder, not advice, not morale lifts, not even tit lifts. THEY ARE PERFECT LOOKING, VAIN as LIONS and STUPID AS COLLIES, but with a snakey skammy nail the guy agenda. They are getting younger and younger too, as (did I say?) they're breeding like Natasha Henstridge --the reptoid in "SPECIES!"
I suspect that if you lift a rock on VENICE BEACH you'll find a few of the younger ones hibernating waiting for PUBERTY to hit so they can emerge and rumble toward the local studios, indies and casting calls, plowing thru to the desk in a cloud of JOY perfume saying 'Alan asked to meet me, may I go straight in to see the producer?" (bat bat eyelash) And in they go.
THE REST OF US ARE LOST! Only in the backwash among the taco shops can a girl get any respect. Guatemalan emigres and Guys in low-riders with hair nets will whistle and you'll know you beat out the local frizzy latina pop-tartletts (no starlets among Chicanas; Salma Hayak and that tidal wave of South Americans did not start a trend) and with your pocho boyfriend you can have a great Saturday nite date.
So go anywhere but HELL-A. ---it's really the worst place to look for a man. GREAT beauties are mud wrestling here. ALL have had their hearts broken by film industry execs who treat them sort of well while they date, have an affair, then they find a new beauty, the old one is treated like dirt. And pretty girls work in studios by the dozen and earn MINIMUM WAGE for the privilege!
L.A. is a heartbreaker. EVEN FILM stars are so insecure they go nuts on downers. I have worked for an OSCAR NOMINEE or 7 yrs. Even reigning film stars are used and abused, again by film industry guys. The nominee's boyfriend /manager stood too close to her wallet for seven years. He started boffing her secretary, then both of them got in too close to the star's femme accountant. Some kind of weird freeway-three-way cuz now forty million dollars are missing and he appears to have real estate in remote countries, in tropical islands and the FBI is trying to track an intricate net of thieving and sucking that the blithe and very loving nominee let happen.
THERE ARE VERY FEW BILLIONAIRES in L.A. WHYIZZAT you suppose? Cuzthe super rich consider the whole place corrupt and tacky. Want to marry a man who can give you a life? Try FRISCO, HOUSTON, NYC, DENVER are the best bet. London, Paris, Geneva, Zurich. GERMANY is full of them. So, educate yourself, speak languages, get out of show biz. You are super intelligent, right? So you have to be wondering, what is my game? Where do I start to SQUEEZE you little does of your BUCKS? WHY DO I DO THE WORK teaching show biz wannabe's to MARRY WELL while they can? During those few years of spectacular beauty? And do it for free?
Because I care. I was so smart I was stupid. I was a beauty, a top actress,starring roles in dozens of TV shows.
But I was STUPID related to a real career with years of SOCIAL SECURITY PAYIN. A TV show shoots in SIX DAYS. NO pay in to your pension account there. Plus I was absolutely uncontrollable in love with unworthy men, time and time again. ARTISTS who were in the closet but had their gay side? Folk GUITARISTS who were indigent yet Used to women throwing themselves at them. SPANIARDS who would never pay child support or alimony yet I married them, got beat up, had to yank my kids out, drive 3,000 miles back to USA and live in fear of kidnapping. Then met a rich, (cheap) married screenwriter who'd had fifty yrs in Hollywood a good time to learn its predator/victim weird ways, a man who toyed with me over thirty years, politely, so politely I couldn't see that hundreds of women were with him on other days and nights.
I raised four kids doing astrology here in Hollywood, 15$ an hr, maybe got four clients a month. Last couple of years it was 25$ an hour, now it's 30$ for an hour of typing. But it's useless as I live in the VALLEY NOW. (Translation: SUPER LOW RENT AREA.) I had two vices that caused me to have to move here to a place where there are NO ritzy clients. The vices: my dear kittie cats who need huge, fenced jungly gardens. And I like gardening, I need huge jungly gardens. IN the valley, 8000 square feet of house, fenced yards, rent is 995$ a month, but clients? The valley is a barrio. LOTS of dear people who are learning ENGLISH but astrologer is not a word they've learned. One barely can eke out a living. Luckily, I can daily go to the dumpster outside the market, yesterday 3 bell peppers, 3 hot peppers, l eggplant, last week, 6 dozen eggs, fed my thirty cats with those and I grow fruit and vegies.
But this felicitous circumstance has engender the most amazing situation. FOR THE FIRST TIME in my life, I have become interested in what happens to women during the latter part of their lives. I was smart, Straight A's to get into UCLA, picked out of 9000 freshmen, fifty geniuses, thru a week of testing but look what happened to me. What will happen to the parade of sweet girls headed for L.A?. I was a top TV and film star, It would say GUEST STARRING ANITA SANDS if I was on any t.v. hour drama. William Morris Agcy was my agent, biggest agent in show biz. I starred in my first film, Diary of a High School Bride, did Bonanza, Maverick, Dobie Gillis, all the tv shows, fantasy and fun but did not know reality and didn't have enough quarters of work to get Social SEcurity. Foreign husband, no Social Security. Means no medical coverage. And I was IQ 180. Took me straight A's to get into UCLA theatre arts. Freshman yr, they tested 9000 freshman for a week, daily, all day, Picked 30 of us, told us we tested out as geniuses, gave us stack passes, vocat. counseling, said we should be in science. DUMMIE here quit school to act. AND SELF IMMOLATED
C'mon ! Get what I'm saying. Smarts don't get you nuttin' You have to be practical too. Stay with your job in Smogabosh Wisconsin. That will get you a big set of friends, a husband and a late life pension. Hollywood will get you nothing.
Of course YOU CAN become a billionaire's wife in any state except Hollywood. IF YOU ARE shapely, elegant, smart, gorgeous and BEAUTIFUL take the training!
It's free. TRY to rein in that dumb part of yourself, that impetuous, hot, unfocused part. YOU DID NOT READ THE TEXT OF THE AD EVEN, see I know that, or even one chapter from LUCK IN LOVE, where I freely admit I AM NEARLY STARVING TODAY and for the years that I raised those four kids, we starved worse.
Yet I continued my dumb INTENSE LOVE HABITS during the 30 yrs I was sweetheart to the married screenwriter. There's a special room in Hell for writers as they all lie. This fellow never brought an apple to my house in thirty years NOT A GRAIN OF FOOD unless inadvertently thru one of mommy's doggie bags she brought home and stuffed in the fridge for the kiddies before I took him in my bedroom. I WAS HOOKED on this guy and never complained. Did you hear the one about the Polish starlet? She was so dumb she was #$%(#@ the WRITER!
SIGN ME IQ 180 and damn STUPID and very intensely focused on stopping all the other beauties on this planet from falling into the same snake pit of their own craziness. GET A GRIP!! STUDY YOGA as it reins in the crazed nature. What city are you in? There are KUNDALINI YOGA teachers in every city of the planet on the "teacher's list" that I have on file who can stop your chakras from running away from you like a stallion running for its stable. THE ID, Freud called it, which does a suicide run toward its favorite stimulants. HIGH DRAMA., HIGH ROMANCE,SEXUAL THROES. PASSION. There's a reason the Greek root of the word passion is SUFFERING! As in the "Passion of the Christ." Yoga will put you ten feet above your body, permanently, spotting THE BODY's DUMB,FEVERISH, FUTILE GO NOWHERE trajectories before THEY can direct the course of your life.
Don't drag your kids, even if not born yet, into and thru this! GET A GRIP! SO ask me for the yoga teacher in your town! And STUDY THE "ATLAS" CONCEPT about picking a new city! Auntie Anita
PS. today a girl called me about leaving her city Toronto. She was hearing voices which said that some MEAN GIRL that she met seven years ago didn't like her and was going to kill her. VOICES IN HER HEAD TOLD HER THAT. So she was going to move to New York or London. She wasn't sure which. I told her both places require search on credit, 3k a month for rent on a 1 bdrm or single and a good job history none of which she had. So Jen?you aren't the craziest person who's called me wanting to make a big move. You are only the second craziest.
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Our 'POSTER-BLOGGER' is ANITA SANDS HERNANDEZ, Los Angeles Writer, Researcher, Humorist, Ombudsman, Futurist, single mother of four and Astrologer. Catch up with her websites TRUTHS GOV WILL HIDE & NEVER TELL YOU, also The FUTURE, WHAT'S COMIN' AT YA! FRUGAL LIFE STYLE TIPS, HOW TO SURVIVE the COMING GREAT DEPRESSION, and Secrets of Nature, HOLISTIC, AFFORDABLE HEALING. Also ARTISANRY FOR EXPORT, EARN EUROS....* Anita is at firstname.lastname@example.org ). Get a 15$ natal horoscope "my money/future life" reading now + copy horoscope as a Gif file graphic! No smarter, more accurate reading out there!
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