FARMERETTE VAMPS ON PATROL
I confess, I'm a faux Farmerette in a big SoCal city, (which I laughingly call Hell-A.) I grow my smog covered tomatoes a few miles from a major freeway but guess what? I'm tired of the row I'm hoe-ing.
With things in flux, it's necessary for city folks (who are all one paycheck away from homelessness, foodlessness, joblessness and in my case SSI check-lessness), to get the gardening thing going. Because I've lived through the 50's and have something to compare the INFLATION nowadays to, I see clearly the economic differences between the flush Eisenhower years and the TRUMP epoch. I have come to believe it's necessary to move to the countryside. Rents in LA are $1,100 for a studio and $2,300 for a little dinky apartment! IF you find a job and have terrific credit!
I tell my prosperous astrology clients frankly, the BEST thing they can do for their family is to buy a few dozen acres and start planting fruit and nut trees on weekends, tent on it until they can afford to build a cordwood, straw bale house or the exotic, stuccoed spiral bagged-sand house and live on the land in that shack until they can afford to build a log cabin.
Being a single lady who has just enough money for the next huge month of rent, my being able to buy a farm is not likely. Since I'm unmarried, kids in other states and ESPECIALLY since I'm 76 years old. But those who can't... teach.
I am still a city girl with considerable gardening talent, a gal who dreams of having a few acres of bottom land to play with and so it happened that recently, one week-end, I drove deep into the farmland to the south. And there, in a small diner, I came upon a middle-aged man in mud-spattered denims having dinner by his lonesome self.
After we discussed the virtues of fried chicken versus chops, I got right to the point. "You single? " He shook his head. After a while, he confessed that he was unhappily married. He said that his name was Joe and that his spouse didn't share his farming dream. "What am I to do?" he asked plaintively.
"You mean she's not a dedicated homesteader? She doesn't want to put that plowblade between her teeth and bend her head to the furrow while you whip her? The Spoilsport!
"No, I never make her plow" he protested.
"You mean she wants a credit card instead of a sewing machine? The strumpet."
"No, I buy her everything new. Any dress out of the Sears catalogue. It's just that she wants to live nearer the city. We're fifty miles from the closest post office. Got a little hundred acre spread, milk cows, avocado, citrus orchards, nothing much. But see, I leave the vegetable garden to her. Ten rows to hoe, maybe twenty tops.
I went faint with envy. Lucky girl! I patted his hand sympathetically. "Joe, I said," by now the chops had been served and we were on a first name basis,"Maybe you should take me to meet her. I'll tell her that there are plenty of shapely, gorgeous, SINGLE ladies out there in big cities. And the only rows we hoe are ciphers on a page, 8 hrs a day for minimum wage and we are SCREAMING to be on a farm."
I told him how we outdoorsy babes rent 50 x 100 houses on arid lots at great cost so we can have gardens, lie to our friends that it's because our cats need a yard, and in this 'yard' we grow nothing more than hybrid tea roses yet we pretend to be living the life of the farmer. We till the soil and grow smog-covered tomatoes. We swab out the cat litter boxes and pretend they're horse stalls, and compost our measly little kiwi rinds and maybe grow daisies.
We are faux farmers. No sadder bunch exists. At night, no coyote or wolf howls at our door, unless it's some little urban burglar. We lie in our beds, deprived of the company of a stalwart farmer buck who can make the monthly payment on the farm, and snore the sleep of the dead from milking 40 cows twice a day.
Not so in the city. Our boyfriends are all pawing at us nightly because they're not TIRED enough. God MADE men to be tired. What is all this FRISKY STUFF? The goats should be frisky the men should be stone cold asleep!
So I told Farmer Joe to tell his better half that she'd better get on the stick or there's an L.A. lady who'll drive to country diners every weekend, and talk to lonely Joes and sooner or later I'll snag one of these misunderstood guys and SHE will have to come to the big city and type numbers all day and DO numbers all night and I'll be weeding her tomatoes with a big grateful smile on my face.
Our POSTER is ANITA SANDS HERNANDEZ, ex film/tv actress, Los Angeles Writer, Mother of 4 and career Astrologer. Catch up with her websites TRUTHS GOV WILL HIDE & NEVER TELL YOU, also The FUTURE, WHAT'S COMIN' AT YA! FRUGAL LIFE STYLE TIPS, HOW TO SURVIVE the COMING GREAT DEPRESSION, and Secrets of Nature, HOLISTIC, AFFORDABLE HEALING. Also ARTISANRY FOR EXPORT, EARN EUROS... Drop LOVEGURU a note at firstname.lastname@example.org ). Get a 35$ natal horoscope "my money/future life" reading now + copy horoscope as a Gif file graphic! No smarter, more accurate career reading out there!
<====HOW TO DO A HANDMADE WEBSITE AND MAKE MONEY FROM AD REVENUE. USE these thousand ARTICLES
REPUBLISH THEM FOREVER ---TOTALLY FREE.
<=== FOR GIRLS ONLY, HOW TO MARRY A BILLIONAIRE & SAVE THE WORLD WITH HIS MONEY<===BACK TO THE CONVERSATION 101 TUTORIAL, SO YOU SHOW UP AS BRIGHT IN HIS EYES
<=== BACK TO TRACKING THE ECONOMY, an INDEX PAGE
<===BACK TO MONEY SECRETS ONLY THE EXPERTS KNOW
<=== BACK TO SECRETS THE GOV DOES NOT WANT YOU TO KNOW
<===BACK TO THE SECRETS OF THE OLIGARCHS, THE EMPIRE INDEX PAGE
<=== SHOW ME THE FIX for America INDEX PAGE.
<== SHOW ME THE HAPPY R)EVOLUTION PAGE
<=== BACK TO "GUERILLA CAPITALISM" -- THE SOLUTION!
<==== BACK TO THE FUTURE "VITAL SIGNS OF A DYING ECONOMY" "WHAT'S COMIN AT YA"
<==== BACK TO THE WALL STREET MELTDOWN WEBSITE, with "WHAT TO DO TO SURVIVE" TIPS
<=== BACK TO ENRON PLANET, the DOOMSDAY SCENARIO!
<====BACK TO THE HOLISTIC GOURMET, BON MARCHE
<=== BACK TO THE FRUGAL ARTISAN IMPORT/ EXPORT TYCOON AND HIS "STUFF"
<=== BACK TO THE GLEENERS PAGE
<=== BACK TO THE CITY FARMER'S GARDEN INDEX and "GOING RURAL"
<=== INVESTIGATE DOING DRIP IRRIGATE- LINES in DROUGHT GARDENS for big $. Learn in 1 hr at HOME DEPOT
<=== BACK TO "DONE WELL, ACTIVISM IS A DELIGHT and IT CREATES CAREERS for YOU as well as PLANETARY EVOLUTION"
<=== BACK TO THE MALTHUSIAN INDEX PAGE
<===BACK TO THE PHILOSOPHY INDEX PAGE
<=== BACK TO THE LUCK IN LOVE WEBSITE
<== BACK TO THE PROPAGANDA STUDIES WEBSITE, HOW GOV LIES TO YOU
<=== BACK TO ALL POINTS OF THE COMPASS POLITICAL PHILOSOPHY TUTORIAL
<=== BACK TO JERRY'S REFRIGERATOR & the Tin Foil Hat Collection of CONSPIRACY THEORIES!
<====BACK TO THE FREE MONEY WEBSITE
<==== BACK TO THE HARD TIMES WEBSITE
<===== BACK TO THE POVERTY INDEX PAGE
<==== BACK TO THE "TIPS to SURVIVE THE FUTURE" INDEX PAGE
BACK TO THE "FIX YOUR FLAGGING AMBITION" SEMINAR
<== BACK TO THE SNOOKERED INDEX PAGE
<===BACK TO THE REALITY 101 SEMINAR FOR TEEN RUN BUSINESSES
<==== BACK TO THE SHOW BUSINESS ARCHIVE, for writers, producers, video documentary makers. SHOW BIZ FROM ANY CITY!
<====HOW TO TINKER WITH OTHER PEOPLE's BRAINS earn 100$ the hr; call it TANTRUM YOGA and it's legal
<====BACK TO THE NEW AGE EMPOWERING INDEX
<===BACK TO "HOW TO MERCHANDISE YOURSELF" INDEX
<===BACK TO THE ALL ABOUT TAXES INDEX PAGE<=== BACK TO THE FRUGAL TIPS and CHEAPO LIFESTYLE WEBPAGE
<=== MEET ANITA SANDS WHO WRITES ALL THESE ARTICLES
<=== TAKE ME TO THE HOLISTIC PET, HOW NEVER TO NEED a VET
<=== BACK TO THE TRUTHS ABOUT DENTISTRY THAT WILL SAVE YOU 100 THOUSAND!
<=== BACK TO THE SNOOKERED WEBPAGE, HOAXES and THEFTS WE HAVE ALL KNOWN
<===BACK TO EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT WEB STUFF<=== BACK TO THE PORTAL to 7,000 WEALTH 101 ARTICLES YOU CAN RE-PUBLISH FREE, ATTRACT AD REVENUE TO YOUR BLOG
<== BACK TO THE BILLION BUCK LUCK IN LOVE WEBSITE