web site design faults that idiots make ....

There are a lot of idiot webmasters out there in cyberville. I know because I see so many baaaad webpages. (The worse offense by me is a dark background, white letters. Black BG is the worst,  making it impossible to read anything there!) I guess CYBERSPACE is like life. There are a lot of IDIOTS running things in LIFE on EARTH, too. (See < illustration,) But what I'm getting at, THE FRONT PAGE of your website must be YOUR magazine's Easy-to-read PORTAL with a quick-scan TABLE OF CONTENTS, with appetizing short descriptions of each article which I can access. Keep it strictly an INDEX PAGE. It must not have any ads, or photos/ any rhapsodizing text about your merchandise which you offer up for sale, at least not anywhere near the top of page, visible, even as pictures or even as BOOKS FOR SALE  or any signs saying PURCHASE THIS HERE.  NOTHING about Get your market cart ready, Or "GO HERE TO BUY". NOTHING like that!  NOT UNTIL you have given us acres of fascinating information and addicted us to your writing and information. 

THE WEB is about INFORMATION. NEW INFO! People turn away when they get to your spot and there's no interesting and new information there. When they walk into a store, the beauty of what the store offers is visible. You can walk around for an hour staring, touching things, or in a bookstore, reading things, without brushing arms with an avid salesgirl and being told every second BUY here, PURCHASE here.


No, your front page of your website MUST HAVE beautiful, glittering, fascinating articles, offered up for reading with a DESCRIPTION that entices. This after all is what we offer on the internet, great, useful Info! And each article must have an index page BULLET, a one line description listed this simply: "HOW A MOUSE CAN BE COOKED SO THAT IT IS DELICIOUS AND NUTRITIOUS, great RECESSION FOOD, easy to catch with NEW BUBBLE GUM!" and an URL inside it, maybe in the word 'MOUSE'    And when they put their mouse on your mouse  they text pops up saying http://www.luckinlove.com/ratrecipe.htm  and they know they're gonna be tastin' that mouse in one second if they click! IMMEDIATE satisfaction. Very important at  luring clients is to keep them happy and dazzled and fascinated with what you have.  NOVEL STUFF, quick click! Keep everything hilarious, too. Always be MARK TWAIN.

You know how to create a sentence with a live link in it, don't you? Use the CHAIN LINK icon at screen top when DESIGNING your website! That easy! So it's MOUSE UNDERLINED IN BLUE

"HOW TO SURVIVE A COMET if it hits your side of the planet:" SURVIVE IS UNDERLINED IN BLUE ergo it is a live link and their mouse corroborates fact that they can click and go there!

I visited a site recently and there were two pages of ads, buy this, add this to your shopping cart, etc. The website was supposed to be about new age conspiracy theory. I became impatient. What a junky site. I don't know why I did it, cuz I no longer cared but I right clicked to view source and saw the meta words that they left embedded to attract the robot spiders that were coming from search engines. Well, these words "alien abductions, poisons in our foods, oligarchs stealing politicians, etc., WERE MORE INTERESTING THAN their WHOLE SITE!

So I wrote the web owner, Sir, Why not have those divine and alluring words right in front! And each time a visitor CLICKS on a word, they go straight to a sample article. Put the ad for the book at the end of the reading experience (i.e. the interesting paragraph) ? HUH? How about doing THAT!

article with a first hand contactee experience, and THEN an ad for the
book. People are more likely to want to buy your book after they've seen
that article, no?

Then the rest of the wonderful words in that list. BOUGHT POLITICIANS?
What does that mean. if I click on it, can I please go to an article
that tells how the oil-o-garchs bought Reagan and VP Bush Sr. and
owned BUSH and well as his idiot son pictured above, who sunk America
into the greatest planet-wide depression ever seen with endless war. Of course
war-loving oil-hungry oligarchs owned every president  since JFK but the BUSHES were
without consideration for the planet. Wait I'm getting off track. I was telling
the owner of this website to please, USE that wonderful set of words
that you're offering the spider robots in the page's coding.... for us!

And every single word in that juicy list you should make on your front page
must have two things, a.) a great, bouncy description of what's in the
article, written to make us salivate to click, and b.) a live link to an article,
an URL set right in that sentence like a diamond in a 24k setting.

EVERY SINGLE PARAGRAPH should offer up an article!
FREE ARTICLES must be there. Can't you do that?
Even if it's not the definitive article... just a smattering, then
at end of article THEN you can say want to order book on this, GO HERE,
And an URL that takes them to the shopping cart section, the order
merchandise page, either separate or right on that page.

I wrote the guy and told him, "sir, If your front web page were a
magazine it would have long since folded. It is dull. You have ten to
twenty different books for sale and nothing to make us buy them. USE
articles that show how relevant this info is! How important! Make it
mysterious, exciting. This is just like necking with a gorgeous girl. If
it isn't a joytrip with the first kiss and squeeze, why would one go all
the way and marry her and buy the book? DREAM ON, charlie!

So, NO MENTION of selling things in front. If you do, YOUR FRONT PAGE IS
DULL. Put signs on her chest, nobody buys the bride. Putting a graphic of a flying saucer and or
a PYRAMID with an eye on top does not help it out. However, a funny cartoon which
I do myself, often, right next to the title of the archive may get you a second of
time. But then, an article must follow, right there, or a link to one. The thing is to
make people so happy so fast that they cannot turn away! That bride gets a groom!

Nobody marries the girl when every interesting squeeze on a knob yields
no thrill, no throb, zip, nada, nothing. I click on something provocative like the word
'hidden sciences' and if what comes up is unreadable, a boring blurb to buy
this book,  NO INFO ---I am OUTTA THERE yet folks do it all the time.
I don't get it. WHY? HOW can you get lucky when every page is a turn off.
PUT AN ARTICLE on every single page, fully informational with a BIG,
JFK AND THE CIA HELPED HIM DO IT" and then the article that proves it, some
illustrations and way down at the bottom, some sales pitch. "Want all the
articles on what Gov is doing to murder you? I send them email to you for 2$, so send this amt
to my account at paypal, say 'I want the articles on conspiracy theory,' you get
hundreds back by return email! Instant gratification! That is in tiny print way at the bottom.
Now I don't do that, myself. I just say GO TO CONSPIRACY THEORY THEY ARE ALL THERE!