SURMOUNTING FAMILY ANGUISH & CREATING A HAPPY WORLD

dysfunctional families can become happy ones

The most sad-making problem on Earth isn't African genocide, it is the NEUROSIS that makes African men hard hearted enough to run around killing people. The problem on earth is not gas at 3$a gallon but the neurosis that drives us to own SUVS.(because SUVS are the new norm of posh an' the other sheep are doin' it!)

Something buried in our collective, human MIND is making the average human do a lot of insane stuff: murder, pedophelia, binge drinking, drug-taking, pig-out eating, racial hatred, cheating, stealing, paranoia, racism, violence to our children, and it escalates to an occasonal genocidal resource war. Like Vietnam or Iraq ! and Iraq II. (Bush I and Bush II, both of whom work for oil industry.)

There's a planetary tidal wave of disaffectedness, hardheartedness, a lack of compassion or humanity going on. How'd we achieve minds that tweaked?

Hindus say prior lifetimes may have given us tendencies. Rampant self-survivalism in the last two million years of human evolution when life really was quite hard ---- tends to make the human beast tense up if its survival is threatened. As the soul was along with the body during all those earlier, jeopardized, prior lifetimes, the soul may have residues of apprehensiveness.

Survival 'me-first' thinking is a gear frequently attached to and responsible for.... violence to others. Scientists laugh at that reincarnation stuff off and say that we are born empty hard drive total disk wipe but good ole MOM for nine month has a mantra of pain going on. She programs the fetus with her own thoughts of despair, lonlieness, insufficient this or that, apprehension over birth. They maintain that this might lay down a tilted patterning. If Mom was moaning and groaning too much, how dad did this or didn't do the other and she was hurt, it may lay thought tendencies on the baby. If she spent 9 months collecting injustices...how not to have the baby end up with the collection?

The BRAIN of the child, thru no fault of its own .. was stained with the 31 flavors of grief. Scientologists call them engrams, negative mental pictures, stored in the neural tissue. Scientologists are really big on not making a ruckus around a birth. They say that the 'hard drive' called the brain hears everything and ends up with a few megs of engrams. The labor room is a lot of people in tension saying terrible things, scary things and it could be that Mom is doing some alarming groaning or screaming. This gets laid down on the new mind as a fear track. Like a sound track on a movie. Only it's a fear track.

Then comes post partum with a few thousand bytes of pain, (pain for the MOTHER with sore nipples, stitches trying to heal,) then her fear and nerves and mutual agitation from the Mom/Babe weeping at one another and Dad lurking in the background and the chores of the household left undone as Mom lies around. So the Orientals insist on a DOULA * for the first forty days, waiting on the mother hand and foot at all hours.(*clickable URL)

Then, infancy hits. About a year of it. Hunger aches the little tyke, diapers burn him. Parents don't show up with the warm milk. The kid can't figure that out and interprets it as being unloved. Primal pain. Talk about collecting injustices.

If you as an infant were inclined to worry from the first two megs of pre-partum programming or the ruckus of birth, these latter insults really drive you nuts. AND THE MORE YOU SCREAM, the less the neurotic mother is able to love you, the more she treats you with horror, feeling that you're an aberration.

So she doesn't breast feed, hold you close to her, staring down into your face, bonding with you, no SHE THROWS YOU A BOTTLE and leaves the room and shuts the door. YOU have to deal with that stunning blow of parental disdain and just GET OFF it. THAT means armoring the very worst thing that can happen to a person is pain and when the load is large, the child must disconnect and become  unfeeling, go numb. That zombie state is the beginning of the disaffected personality: the one who can run through an African village at night, shooting people dead.

Now, the big Apache gauntlet for the child comes during  toddlerhood. SIBLINGS pound you. Siblings go out and play and get toys and get special stuff, but you don't. The seeds of JEALOUSY start in you. Your siblngs are already SOOOO jealous over you they are in advanced hate. They'rejust seeking to screw with your mind. Eat donuts and not give you any. Go and play while you the infant have to stay in the crib. And if you go out in the yard, they set fire to branches around your feet and whoop and play Indian.

The usual household provides a childhood of lonely horror. The people you respect and admire most, parents and siblings are causing continual exacerbation of pre-natal, birth, neo-natal pain. That little tyke has one response. He armors even more. He no longer feels. He grows up that way, hardened off, a mucked up mess. His relationships with kids in school turn cold. He becomes competitive. When kids outshine him or look more popular, he sulks. WHen they ignore him, he feels rejected. HEALTHY people might feel the wound but unhealthy people only feel the anger. An injured, pained, wounded person might wonder why he is unworthy and he might vow to excel. He becomes a braggart, striver, which plays into America's agenda because he thinks he needs better clothes and an SUV! He stews, he frets, frets and becomes a 'consumer' But an angry person, a cut off, unemotional, disaffected person, when ignored becomes a chronic hater. Incapable of love, family life, wanting children. Nothing in the love spectrum interests him. He is an anger trigger. Everything that happens to him or her has that person despising, wishing the demise or disappearance of others. They are a train going off the rails.

So at that point there are two personalities. The wounded and the Angry. The angry person isolates himself pretty much so we don't have to worry about him.

The wounded person has his own destiny. Puberty hits and any pretty girl can play him like a lute. He crushes out. To love her is nirvana, valhalla and heaven rolled into one at first but if he has chosen a cold seductress, totally the wrong girl for him, she plays him. This isn't love, it's control. She is collecting skulls as part of her need to have power over men but hey, she has fantastic boobies so he marries her.  Now he is living with a disaffected woman who has had a dysfunctional childhood similar to his own. This is not a sentimental woman. She isn't as friendly as she was during courtship. Now he's really coming apart but this is just when his own children are getting born.

And the disease continues, leaping to the next generation. Get the picture?You were sinned against and became alienated, disaffected but you went on to sin some more. Now you have about fifty megs of bad programming in there, scar tissue that sings at night. It's a wonder you can sleep. or eat, or digest, or crap, or come. ALL BODILY functions are way way impaired. LIFE is joyless.

So, my idea is you spend one or two lifetimes dedicated to FIXING THAT. Not only in yourself, with yoga, meditation, Buddhist solitude, not getting involved in affairs and all, but also being a teacher and healing others. I guarantee you that with such a chore on your shoulders, such a SPIRITUAL MISSION, you will be aware that the enemy is not war, murder, hatred, anger and theft, it is the matrix, the causational field of disaffectedness, hard heartedness, SLEEP, STUPOR and the basic soil of IGNORANCE in which it flourishes. That soul death is everywhere but technology exists to WAKE UP the heart. WE CAN HELP OTHERS to wake theirs up. 

For a few lifetimes, that should be on the menu.  BEING the BUDDHIST TEACHER becomes like a mantra, you do it all the time under your breath. Awake or asleep. And the BENEFIT? YOU may notice that if a hundred monkeys pursue this line of work, society does evolve. They discover a car that works on old cans of hair spray. Or sunlight. Babies turn into laughing, feeling adults. Everyone simultaneously cuts down on fried foods, sugar and gluten and strokes and heart attacks stop happening.

One day we'll all look around and NOTICE that nobody's thinking, our programming isn't rolling around grinding, our huge mega amts of megs of DISMAL programming are kind of in suspended animation. People aren't going "I WANT THIS and I DON'T HAVE THAT. SHOULD I WANT THE OTHER? WILL I GET THE MONEY? THESE crumbums did X, this TERRIBLE THING to me, WHAT DO I DO NOW? He' stiffed me, "

You don't think that. You are just smiling under an unwrinkled brow HOPING you can serve the GOD OF WAKING UP, aware that there is a tidal wave of pain and ignorance going on, and that all it's useful for is catching sight of the enemy before undertaking the chore of 'getting off your stuff.'

So each of us, listen. You need to get off your stuff. Scrap the bad software programs. There is one program on your mental PC that works flawlessly, it is the gear of serving light, serving the universe. And when you do it, all the other programs die of disuse.

To organize your HOLY PROGRAM,  you have to ask yourself 'what's wrong here?" Probably nothing. Probably your life is fine. At least it's not Africa where they shoot bullets into your hut at night. So now go around asking others 'what's wrong in your life?' They most likely will have a list. (Minds are like that, they make these huge lists of pain, litanies of pain,) You of course, have a simple waiting answer. No, dear, that's not it. Your THOUGHTS make you suffer. Stop thinking. Stop remembering. If there is a cough, a hiccup of regurgitated pain, go back over that moment and just say, 'he who caused my pain was innocent. I was over interpreting, I forgive him and myself," and get over it.

ANYBODY who stands near you not diggin' the trip, you say, 'so how's stuff?' SHOW INTEREST. ASK. They will start to tell you their List and then YOU will SEE their patterns. Seeing is above all. Even above knowing the remedy. HEY most remedies are way too late, anyway. Folks are so damaged. They are thinking and doing that thinking OUT OF THE DAMAGE. NOBODY thinks out of the healthy centered part. So you want to teach them how to get the quiet spot of healing which can spread to the scar tissue and infection and HEAL IT.

I know it's tiresome, keeping an eye peeled for others' pain but  realize this. More babies will be born into happy households when we do not have the disease of disaffectedness, hard hearts, SUVS, gas, wars, pigging out, cancer, and thieving car mechanics and men going around shooting the place up at night. ALL of those things come from pain creating either the unfeeling zombie, (the sadist,) or the perpetual victim, in deep wound, (the masochist). One injures, the other feels injured. As a sane, wise balanced person, you stay away from this universe of PAIN and thinking of painful things. Do it by being in the opposite space. Don't think. Stay busy being a flow-hole for laughter, happiness, joy. Teach the art of spreading contentment. Banish the blues with your magic wand. Listen to others, listen for the chance to talk to them. Get out of your head, into other people's heads and hearts. If what you find there is messy, help them clean it up. If you can clean your own skull, you can teach others the art.

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Thought for the Day

I was in terrible shape till one day I realized a simple thing.
When I believed my own thoughts I suffered.
When I didn't believe them I didn't suffer.
Everything changed for me that day."
Byron Katie

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"Deadness is a low-intensity form of suffering. It is the result of
staying on guard against imagined greater dangers. The greater dangers
we imagine are based on memories of how we have been hurt before. The
path we must follow to get over the suffering of deadness leads,
initially, into greater suffering. For example, if you have deadened
yourself for a long time to keep from experiencing anger, getting very
angry will feel worse than will deadness. But itís only your willingness
to feel worse that will allow you to feel better. Trying to remain
carefully kept and to avoid further pain, embarrassment and difficulty
is normal. Normality is the key to avoiding change and continuing to
suffer." From the book Radical Honesty; How to Transform Your Life by Telling
the Truth, by Brad Blanton.

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TO NOT THINK AND TO DITCH AGONY

a.) GET OFF IT! NEVER BITCH ABOUT being rooked or having BAD LUCK. You attracted that insult, for some mysterious karmic reason, you probably deserved what they did to you, so now get off it. No weeping, moping, no revenge. No gossip, no complaining. Stop being inside your own head, rumbling around in there with these big weighty rocks. empty your skull. you know what we call a person with big rocks inside the head? A blockhead!

b.) Find a hobby that makes your self image soar. Belly dancing, carpentry,doing shelves in  Pals' homes, l00$ and they get ten shelves from you, up the wall, any color or stain they want. Fountain building. Collecting stones in riverbeds, landscaping with them.  Painting, sewing, cooking, baking, jam making. GARDENING forself or pals. Both ego enhancing as you wear or hang or serve your art and save money on food, decor, clothes!

c.) Learn to not only watch but love a few TV SHOWS: cooking shows on cable. gardening shows. CSI, CRIMINAL MINDS,  Mysteries are always gripping, Law and Order, Cold Case.

d.) Visit library regularly for books. Mysteries are gripping and GRIPPING is good. I like MICHAEL CONNELLY, SUE GRAFTON and for political spy thrillers, FREDERICK FORSYTH. Daniel Silva, Stieg Larsson  DAN BROWN. His "Angels Demons" just as good as Da Vinci Code all free at library. James MICHENER early novels, not the last few. Ask everyone you meet for their favorites, though I find this very unreliable as tastes vary so!

e.) Read the biographies of great men and women. Study how they created their path, how obstacles were  surmounted, what disciplines they undertook, note the choices they made. Realize that you are equally great and at least that disciplined and can likewise attract a really lovely career and mate and be very happy.


MAN, we actually DID IT!
 

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